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They’re Here, They Are, They Are, They Are

Considering the vast distances travelled by UFOs some questions inevitably arise. Such as: How long does it take to get here; What powers them; How much energy must they consume; What kind of fuel mileage do they get; Do little green men use green energy.

The ultimate secret to UFO intergalactic travel lies in employing a Maxwell Demon running on a zero point circularity which produces more energy than it con­sumes. This device is called a super-infinite de-entropy regenerator. As a result ET never has to stop and gas up. Which is good because refueling stations in deep space are few and far between. Whether they ever need to stop and ask for directions, I couldn’t really say.


The super-infinite de-entropy regenerator powers a quantum paradox engine which converts dark protons to even darker protoffs, the only substance that can Martianize the fabric of space-time. This generates a physics loophole in the shape of a mobius strip so wherever they go there they are, and vice-versa. Which is why UFOs show up wherever but not in cities.

Have I actually explained the mysteries of UFOs? Not really. But then, the headline says the mysteries are revealed, not explained. Still, the next time some­one reports seeing strange lights in the night sky behaving mysteriously and concludes we are being visited covertly by extraterretrials, the question to ask is not how did they get here, but if they’re conducting top secret missions why do they fly around at night with their lights on.

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