The Shirt: You will find four built-in holes (1-4) on a Terry Colon Novelty shirt as indicated in the diagram below. These allow you visual and manual access to the world outside while you are inside the shirt.
Putting on the Shirt: Enter through body hole (4) from below. Insert head (A) through neck hole (1), right arm (B) through right arm hole (2), and left arm (C) through left arm hole (3).
Never attempt to put on your shirt through the neck hole as shown above.
When done correctly image will be right-side-up on the front of your shirt. You can check this in a mirror. Note: Image and words will appear backwards. Do not be alarmed, there is no problem with the shirt, all mirrors display this way.
Wearing the Shirt: For proper display your Terry Colon shirt should be worn over any other shirt. We don’t recommend wearing one over jackets or coats.
Diagnosing Problems
Problem: No image appears on front of shirt.
Solution: Check back of shirt in mirror. If image appears on back you have shirt on backwards. Remove and try again.
Problem: No image appears on front or back of shirt.
Solution: Check inside of shirt. If image appears there you are wearing shirt inside-out. Remove and try again.
Problem: No image appears on front, back or inside of shirt.
Solution: You are wearing an undershirt.
A Terry Colon Novelty mug is approved for coffee, tea and hot cocoa, but not drain cleaner, battery acid, or gasoline. Before drinking any beverage consult a physician.
Step 1. Place mug on countertop or tabletop with opening (A) at the top. Handle (B) will be on side.
Step 2. Pour beverage of choice into opening (A) of mug. Note: Do not fill higher than sides of mug.
Step 3. Pick up mug with handle by inserting fingers (1 & 2) into handle opening (B). Place thumb (3) atop handle hole (B), squeeze and lift. Note: Do not insert fingers (1 & 2) into top opening (A).
Step 4. Bring mug up to mouth opening (C) and tip mug towards you drinking from side of mug (D) nearest mouth opening.
Note: Do not drink from far side of mug (E) which will cause spillage (F) down front of shirt (G) or tie (optional, not shown).
A Terry Colon Novelty greeting card usually comes in two formats, taller-than-wide and wider-than-tall. Place the greeting card on a flat surface with the picture and text right reading, upside up. If card is not as shown below you can rotate the flat surface until it looks right; or turn the card, which is easier. If you don’t see any art in any orientation, it is upside down. Turn card over and start again.
On a taller-than-wide card the opening (A) is on the right. On a wider-than-tall card the opening (A) is on the bottom. This feature allows access to inside of card to inscribe a message, sign, and maybe insert cash if you’re too inconsiderate to give a more desirable Terry Colon Novelty shirt or mug.
Inscribe personal message in blank area (B) provided below the printed message (optional). You can also sign your name. Or someone else’s name, it doesn’t matter to me.
Insert card in envelope provided. Note: All envelopes are wider-than-tall, but will accomodate either greeting card format. For taller-than-wide cards, insert sideways as shown below left.
Lastly, seal envelope, address, add postage and mail. Or omit postage and deliver by hand. Or put it away and forget about it for the time being. If you forget about it forever, you can always go to the Terry Colon Greeting Card Shop and buy more.
© Terry Colon, 2024
