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Weathergroundhog Update

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Friday will see only a 20% chance of groundhogs, but a 100% chance of winter weather. This trend continues right through the weekend. If you’re travelling, bundle up and keep an eye peeled for the occasional icy patch, odd groundhog or rogue snowman. Only a slight change Monday for the start of the work week with fewer groundhogs as the pace of Valentines Day ads and promotions picks up. Expect the weather to continue to be wintery since it is winter after all and only a goof would expect otherwise. You can follow the weather on our Weather­groundhog app (unavailable everywhere) or go outside and see for yourself.

Filed 2/8/19

Weathergroundhog Report

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck and how much ground would a groundhog hog etc. and so on? A pretty silly bit of folderol to get us into Groundhog Day, a pretty silly holiday. Being well informed and on the ball, the terry colon point com reader will already know a groundhog and a woodchuck are one in the same critter going by different aliases.

The name woodchuck is allegedly from the Algonquin wecyeka, “fisher.” So nothing to do with wood or hogs, nor with the actual animal called a fisher, also known as a pekan, which at any rate is more like a wolverine than a woodchuck. Groundhog is from… we don’t know except it isn’t ground hog, the other hamburger.

Now the facts, ma’am: Groundhogs (Marmota monax) or woodchucks (also Marmota monax) typically weigh 12 to 15 pounds and live six to eight years. They subsist on vegetables and fruits, can swim and climb trees, and whistle when scared or wooing a mate. Which is why some folks, though no-one we know, call them whistle pigs.

Groundhog Day grew out of the old Christian tradition of Candlemas, when the clergy would bless and provide candles for winter. The candles indicated how long and cold the winter would be. (Whether the holy men’s climate prognostications were done by means of shadows or something else we have no word.) At some point some Germans pulled a switcheroo so that hedgehogs did the weather predicting. Later, Germans settling in Pennsylvania pulled another switcheroo, hedgehogs not being thick on the ground in the Keystone State, groundhogs got the job.

The current Groundhog Day schtick is, when the little beastie comes out of its hole on February second and sees its shadow, it freaks out (for some reason) and darts back into its burrow, an omen of six more weeks of winter weather. If, on the other hand, it doesn’t see its shadow, it rubs its paws together and settles back in for an early spring. So then, when a groundhog/woodchcuck/whistle pig emerges from its burrow on the second day of February and whistles, better stock up on candles. That’s our story and we’re sticking with it.

Filed 2/1/19

Update Update

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The regular terry colon point com reader (provided there is such) may have noticed a peculiar want of new blog posts of late. Be reassured nothing untoward has befallen the staff, nor have we gone south for the winter (we only wish). Truth is, our interest in pursuing this quixotic endeavor has waned, ebbed, gone downhill, lost steam and generally taken on the shape of a limp balloon, if interest can have a shape. Instead we’ve been upgrading and reconfiguring old bits with additional copy, animation and interactivity. Which is what we’ll mostly be doing at the old stand the rest of the month. Beyond that, who knows?

With that in mind here are some links to some of those recent updates, rehashes and what-nots to peruse until we get back our mojo or whatever it is that energized Sisyphus to keep rolling that boulder up the hill.

Pirate Treasure Trove of Fun
Play the Game, Enjoy the Gags and Trivia

Real Fake News
Our Collected Non-News Roundups, Spoofs and Predictions

Those Darn Cats
Our Deal With the Devils

How to Win Any Argument
Using Paralogic and Surreason

Peculiar Planes & Flights of Fancy
Unusual Aircraft that Never Caught On

The Twelve Days of Christmas
In Under One Minute

Samuel Goldwyn vs. Yogi Berra
Little Read Book of Unintentionally Funny Quotes from New York to Hollywood

About and FAQ
Guide Booklet to Everything Terry Colon Point Com

Notes for Young Artists
Learn from My Experience or Get Your Own

Filed 1/26/19

Grow Your Word Grasp

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The latest and greatest word definition quiz. Not here, at the link:

What’s That Supposed to Mean? The Collected Word Definition Quizes

Filed 1/21/19

2018 Obituaries of the News

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Ten Things that Did Not Happen in 2018

  1. Despite years of research psycholo­gists admit they still don’t know why the chicken crossed the road
  2. Due to inflation economists calculate a picture is now worth 1,685 words
  3. Astronomers shocked to discover infinitely massive black holy-moly!
  4. Russian assets infiltrate State Depart­ment… Oh wait, that happened in the 1940’s
  5. Episcopalians formalize policy of separation of church and religion
  6. POTUS redefines “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” as “entitlement, diversity and the pursuit of orgasm”
  7. New rehypothication rules mean Wall Street banks can have your cake and eat it, too
  8. Afghan War renamed Hundred Years War 2.0
  9. Exhaustive study finds there is actually only one way to skin a cat
  10. Brexit

The reader might think these are all (supposed to be) jokes, except number ten which was actually the case and so news. Unless said reader is a British voter, in which case the whole government handling of Brexit is a joke. Only not the funny kind. Just another case of making the world safe for bureaucracy.

Filed 1/4/19

Happy Out with the Old In with the New Year

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Welcome to the new for 2019 terry colon point com. Or perhaps old for 2019, as the navigation has gone sort of retro. Just like the art. While other sites have fancy-schmancy pushbuttons, we’ve decided to go with good old toggle switches. If we could have figured out how to make them work, we’d have dials, too. You just can’t get more retro than dials and toggle switches. Which are modern at the same time. Well, modern for 1954 or so.

As in previous years we’ve culled the archives of less interesting and dated items. We’ve also assembled some related old blog bits into features which we’ll spring on the reader without warning. And without apologies. Beyond that the plan going forward, besides going backward, is… there really is no plan. That’s it for now. See you tomorrow. Maybe.

And if you missed our big send off for 2018, you can see it here:

The Twelve Days of Christmas in Under a Minute

Filed 1/1/19

And When You Got There…

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Afraid that’s all the blog we’ve done so far this year. Hey, the year is young. On to the archives!

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