New Old Cracked Magazine Thingy
I found this old O.J. Simpson bit in the files, dusted it off, and shoved it into the Cracked archives. Whether it’s still funny, or ever was, is hard to say since it was done back… I was going to say before you were born, 1997, but I’m guessing nobody under forty-something ever reads terrycolon.com, or even knows who I am, let alone remembers the old printed Cracked magazine. At any rate, click the link and relive moments you likely never lived to begin with. In which case it’s all new, if unimproved.
O.J. Industries Selling the Juice
Thinking off the Rock
The Old Gerund Around
You Know You’re Old when…
- An trip to Barbados is not your idea of an adventure… a trip to the bathroom is.
- The terms, rectifier, vertical hold, dial, and snow make you think, ‘television’… and not, ‘Huh?’
- Every new person you meet reminds you of someone you used to know… who might now be dead, you don’t remember.
- You lost your hairbrush five years ago… and still haven’t realized it.
- The people who wrote the music you listen to (on “the hifi”) are all dead… and nothing after 1970 should be called an oldie.
- Your favorite descriptors are comfortable, practical, and affordable… and never “new and improved.”
- Everything you see, hear, and read seems vaguely familiar… and never “new and improved.”
Or So They Tell Me
Family Friendly Funnies
Does Dr Kimble Know about This?
Mouseover art for punchline
Kurmugeonly Kommentary on Our Kommissars
USPS New Stamps for 2022
Through rain, sleet, or snow, the covid cult delivers.
One from the Gob Log
That Was the Year that Wasn’t
Top Ten Things that Could Have But Didn’t Happen in 2021
- Newest surprise for NASA scientists – space probe indicates Mars tests positive for Covid
- Only 30 hospitalized in BLM mostly peaceful celebration of Nobel peace prize
- NYT columnist claims spontaneous chanting at sports events shows Joe “Let’s Go” Biden is most popular president ever
- Girls catching up to boys in sports – “This is what sex change looks like,” said former male Olympian Caitlyn Jenner
- Climate continues multi-million year record of change despite thousands of idle windmills
- US Congress announces new government programs to help people put out of work by previous new government programs
- Conversationalists chagrined to find listeners mistake gag line, “Is the Pope Catholic?” for serious question
- Dead white men expunged from US history – Living white men to be expunged from US future
- Democrat controlled Congress passes hate vote law – Democrats sweep mid-terms with 99% of hate-free votes
- FIFA reassigns French national team to African confederation – Team members look forward to playing road games closer to home
Counting Down, 365, 364, 363…
Just thought I’d cover all the bases so that this year is an improvement over last year, knock on wood. I’m also keeping my fingers crossed, my powder dry, and tying up my camel.