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“Remember. You’re not getting older, you’re getting riper.”

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Still Funny After All These Years

electrical-leak

Electricity Was Leaking All Over the House

I’m currently reading “The Thurber Carnival” (The Modern Library 1994) a collection of short stories and cartoons by James Thurber. Another long-gone humorist who tickles my funny bone with good old-fashioned droll humor. Not unlike P.G. Wodehouse or Groucho Marx. It’s hard to categorize Thurber’s output. What we get are often short stories that read like reminiscences —only they’re not. I don’t think. The cartoons, if you can call them that, are not really jokes but amateurishly drawn humor illustrations. Or something. Anyway a sample of the latter is the lead-in pic, which an excerpt of the man’s writing follows:

When Charlie Dreshler announced he was going marry Dorothy, someone said he would lose his mind posthaste. “No,” said a wit who knew them both, “post hoc.” Dorothy had begun, when she was quite young, to finish sentences for people. Sometimes she finished them wrongly, which annoyed the person who was speaking, and sometimes she finished them correctly, which annoyed the speaker even more.

So, if you like your humorous writing from before it was all spoiled by political correctness and television, Thurber might be just the ticket to put a grin on your face.

Filed 2/19/19

Thursday Funnies…

…Or, if you don’t think it’s funny, social commentary.

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“Actually, dear, I don’t think our family CAN be too
materialistic. We’re rich.”

Filed under Gag Cartoon Gallery 2/13/19

The New Religious Intolerance

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Here’s an old spot of art I did for Reason magazine’s “Brickbats” in 2017. The text:

In Mount Vernon, Indiana, an elementary school teacher sent a note home to parents telling them their children should not talk about God at school.

H-h-m-m, a lot like the old religious intolerance. Stood on its head.

Filed 2/10/20

Thursday Retro Funnies

New Month, old cartoon. From about 1995. That old.

DB20

Filed under A Dog’s Breakfast 2/6/20

Monday Funnies

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Another joke acquired, illustrated and inter­activated. Mouseover the tabs to “hear the monolog.”

Filed 2/3/20

Hey Kids, What Time Is it?

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It’s that time of year again, National Puzzle Day! Who comes up with these National Whatnot Days is itself a puzzle. To tell the truth, the official puzzle day was yesterday, making this, as is often the case around here, a day late and a dollar short. Still, as somebody-or-other said, a difference which makes no difference is no difference. That’s because I don’t have any new puzzles today or yesterday. But, to celebrate National Puzzle Day there are these old bits you can go to:

Terry Toon Jigsaw Puzzles
Now Playing at TheJigsawPuzzles.com

Bird Spotters Rebus Guide
Picture Pun Puzzles for I-D-ing Our Fine Feathered Friends

Crossword for Illiterates

Find the Elusiver, Mysteriouser Creatures
Another Search Game

Find the Secret Message
A different Kind of Word Search

Filed 1/30/20

Famous Deathbed Last Words

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“Die, my dear? Why, that’s the last thing I’d do.”

–Groucho Marx

Mouseover the pic for an extra Groucho gag.

Filed 1/22/20

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

snowshovel

Here’s one from the last batch of spots I did for “Brickbats” in Reason magazine last May. It&esquo;s not that the world had run out of brickbats that I stopped doing them, officious officialdom keeps on getting bigger and badder, it’s only that I gave it all up to settle into a lazy retirement. How lazy? As you can see so far in 2020 I do nothing but recycle old stuff. ‘Stuff’ being a euphemism for… I leave that blank for the reader to fill.

Police in Normandy, Missouri, issued a warning to a boy for shoveling snow from his grandmother’s home without a permit. The authorities defended the move by saying they’ve gotten calls about teens pretending to offer snow shoveling services while actually casing homes for potential theft opportunities.

Filed 1/20/20

Wednesday Funnies

Like the Sunday funnies only not on Sunday, not in color, not on newsprint, and there’s no repeating characters. So, not much like the Sunday funnies at all. Though really not all that funny, so like the Sunday funnies after all.

area49

“Take a right at the crossroads. Take that road about
twenty miles, past Area 49, then...”

Filed under Gag Cartoon Gallery 1/15/19

Wodin’s Day Funnies

New Month, new year, new decade, old cartoon.

DB20

Filed under A Dog’s Breakfast 1/7/20

Special Guest Artist Jigsaw Puzzle Re-Redo

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Yet more “borrowed” J.C. Leyendecker holiday art from the Ye Olde Nostalgia Shoppe. This time, New Year’s Babies. Though those babies are from eighty, ninety or so years ago and would be pretty old by now. Still, Leyendecker being one of the greats his pics are still as good as ever. And plenty o’fun as jigsaw puzzles. I’m hoping. Go see:

Official Terry Colon jigsaw puzzles at TheJigsawPuzzles.com

Filed 1/6/20

2020 Vision

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It’s a new year and you know what that means. Being 2020 it means an entire year of wordplay between 2020 the year and 2020 vision. How many forecasts, product intros and new releases this year will be “2020 Visions”? If you guessed all of them, you probably won’t be far off. Heck, you’ve likely seen dozens already. Including this one right here. At the end of the year we’ll have year in reviews called, what else, “2020 Hindsight.”

Now then, if you go with Roman numerals it’s MMXX. Another double double. Though what fun you can have with that I haven’t figured out. I have a hard enough time just figuring out what year Roman numerals even mean. They look like some sort of texter acronym or modern musical name, which I’m never up to speed on, either.

Of course none of it works if you say “two thousand twenty” instead of ”twenty-twenty” for the year. You wouldn’t do that, eh? That’s like saying 1776 as “one thousand seven hundred seventy-six.” Just ain’t right. Well, if you’re talking about a year/date, at any rate. All that aside, the new year also means one of my annual “Things that Did Not Happen” in the preceding year lists.

Top Ten Things that Did Not Happen in 2019

  1. I write a “Top Ten Things that Did Not Happen in 2019” list
  2. Uh-h…
  3. Hm-m-m…
  4. Tum ti-tum tum
  5. La-di-da, la-di-da
  6. That’s it
  7. Not!
  8. Sorry. Not only is it a whole lot of nothing, it’s not even ten.

Some joke, eh? And to think I had all year to do it.

Filed 1/2/20

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