And Yet Another Rerun from the Archives
Some New Old Jokes
H.L. Mencken once said, “The older I get the more I realize there is no wisdom in age.” On the other hand, there is humor in it. And you can quote me on any of the following.
Terry’s Top Seven Things to Realize when You’re Not Getting Old, You’re Already There
- Old age is the price you pay for living well past your best-by date
- All you need to deal with old age is youth
- Remember, you’re not getting older, you’re getting riper
- When you’re old planning for the future just gets easier all the time
- You may only be as young as you feel, but you won’t look it
- Old age is when you can’t remember when you could remember when
- Being old means you’re a survivor, but not for much longer
Below are a couple of old lists of old old jokes from old posts of old. Because old is forever.
You Know You’re Old when…
- A trip to Barbados is not your idea of an adventure… a trip to the bathroom is
- The terms, rectifier, vertical hold, dial, and snow make you think, ‘television’… and not, ‘Huh?’
- Every new person you meet reminds you of someone you used to know… who might now be dead, you don’t remember
- You lost your hairbrush five years ago… and still haven’t realized it
- The people who wrote the music you listen to (on “the hifi”) are all dead… and nothing after 1970 should be called an oldie
- Your favorite descriptors are comfortable, practical, and affordable… and never “new and improved”
- If you had it to do over again you wouldn’t bother
- You realize you’re too old for that growing old gracefully crap
- You hit retirement and it hits back
Signs You Might be Getting Old
- Boy scouts often offer to help you cross the street
- Items from your childhood show up on Antiques Roadshow
- You go home at the time you used to go out
- You buy clothes for comfort rather than style
- You don’t need to show ID to buy booze, or to get a senior citizen discount
- “At the turn of the century” is 1900, not 2000
- Hair grows everywhere except on top of your head
- “Wait ’til next year” doesn’t seem that long a wait
- You don’t trust anyone under thirty
First filed 2/8/23
Another Rerun from the Archives
That Was the Blog that Wasn’t
Top Twenty Free Website and/or Blog Names (with free free subheads) Nobody Asked for
- Wascally Wabbits –Join the Webolution
- Doublethink Tank –Web Home of Circular Reasoning Squared
- Furious Green Sleep –The Blog Where Nothing Always Happens
- Notes from the Underwear –Non-News in Brief
- Faux Fake News –Endless Impossibilities Blog
- Twice as Half as Much –The Blog with Less of the Same
- Wisp of Weasels –More Fun than a Barrel of Monkeys, Without the Smell
- Anthill Bluster –Where Nits Are Picked While They’re Still Fresh
- Mess Media –Erasing the Fine Line between Fact and Fiction
- Smoldering Embarrassment Blog –Going off Half Cocked and Half Baked
- Unloading Zone –How To Talk Shirty and Influence People
- Mouse Utopia Blog –Where the Future Unwinds and Comes Unwound
- Missing Inaction –Global Headquarters of Nothing Doing
- Beyond Absolute –The Interweb Home of Infinite Density and Then Some
- Antiseptic Badinage –Where Anything Goes and Nothing Matters
- Nigh Times –Where Yesterday Meets Tomorrow
- Cognitive Dissident –The Less Is More of the Same Blog
- Funday Sunnies –Weekend Reading for the Illiterate at Ease
- Tasty Toner Warning –Please Don’t Eat the Website
- Weak Worldly News –Putting the Blah in Blog
First filed 2/14/22
