Current
“It’s a quack-quack here and a quack-quack there, here a quack,
there a quack, everywhere a quack-quack...”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 12/1/23
As Ernest Hemmingway is supposed to have said, “The first draft of anything is crap.” Which doesn’t mean the second is any good or “the third time’s the charm.” After all, “three strikes and you’re out.” The key to coming up with a memorable, pithy quote is knowing when to stop. Below are a few adages, saws, or sayings rendered less than ideal by excess verbiage tacked on the end. That’s why nobody remembers them. Or has ever heard them, really.
Top Ten Failed First Drafts of Old Clichés
I know, I know, there’s only nine of these gems and not ten as advertised, but you know what they say, “Quit while you’re ahead.” Ignoring that sage advice is the problem with all the above. Though if you quit before the game’s over you forfeit and lose, as they also tell us, “Quitters never win.” It’s like, Damned if you do and damned if you don’t and damned if you don’t know enough is enough alright already.
Filed 11/29/23
“OK, the jungle sales trip was my idea, but whose bright idea
was it to sell giant cooking pots?”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 11/17/23
“What’s the problem, sir. Those pants fit you like a glove.”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 11/17/23
Hover for question punchline
Filed 11/15/23
Quickies
Filed 11/10/23
Quickies
Filed 11/6/23
“We’ve adjusted your timing and now you get ESPN.”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 11/3/23
Weary the Cynical Dog
Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 11/1/23
Boys in the Hoodie
Hover panels to enlarge
Filed 10/27/23
“Sorry, but some of as really ARE holier than thou.”
A cartoon and a joke. That’s two, two, two gags in one.
Besides Saint Peter at the legendary pearly gates of Heaven, not as well know is Saint Elmo at the complaint desk. Where one recent day a disappointed newcomer grumbles, “Don’t I get a harp, wings and halo?”
“First, you don’t play the harp,” says the saint. “Next, only angels have wings. Lastly, you aren’t a saint, you’re just dead.”
“That’s unacceptable. I demand to see my lawyer.”
“Go to Hell.”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 10/20/23
“Sorry, Mrs. Poppinfresh, by the time the ambulance got here
he’d already lost too much creamy filling.”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 10/18/23
Quickies
Filed 10/16/23
(or comment without commentary)
The Replacement Flag
Filed 10/13/23
Hover for question punchline
Filed 10/11/23
A genie grants a politician three wishes.
“I wish I were the smartest person in the world,” says the pol. “I wish I were the most popular person in the world. I wish everyone agreed with my policies.”
The genie folds his arms nodding three times saying, “Done, done and done.”
The politician walks out of his office and finds there’s absolutely nobody around as far as the eye can see. “Hey, genie, where is everyone?”
“To make you the smartest person in the world required eliminating everyone smarter, which left half of the population. To make you the most popular required liquidating all more popular people. That really reduced the remaining half. Unfortunately nobody agrees with anyone on everything, so that leaves just you.”
The politician stutters, “B-b-but that’s not what I had in mind at all.”
The genie replies, “There are always unintended consequences in wishes and politics. Still, you are now the smartest, most popular person in the world and nobody disagrees with you.”
“Well then, I’ve changed my mind…”
Poof! The politician disappeared.
The moral of the story: Man who disagrees with self gets nowhere.
Filed 10/6/23
By gosh it’s the grand return of the word quiz. And by golly the return of Webio-Bot. Or maybe Webio-Bot Junior. OK, its really just some would-be jokes in word quiz form. And more! ’Cause it’s interactive, you get to click things. Woohoo!
Click on text to select or change your answer. Double-click to unselect.
sinecure
cynosure
syncope
cycloid
scintilla
Click for answers
(d) sinecure (sī′ nə kyŏŏr) a paid position requiring no work (you know, civil service job or diversity hire)
(c) cynosure (sī′ nə shŏŏr) Something that is a focal point of attention and admiration
(b) syncope (sĭn′ kə-pē) shortening of a word by omission of a middle part; i.e., bos’n for boatswain
(d) cycloid (sī′ klōĭd) resembling a circle
(a) scintilla (sĭn tĭl′-ə) minute amount, iota
Scoring
Doesn’t matter. You’re a winner just for reading terrycolon.com
Click to close
Filed in What’s That Supposed to mean? 10/2/23
Hover for question punchline
Filed 9/18/23
“Funny. I don’t see you in religion. I see you…
in entertainment. I see you… juggling.”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 9/1/23
Hover to open book
Filed in The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair 9/5/23
“I was hoping you could improve the cut of my jib.”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 9/1/23
To what do you owe your surprising success?
Why “surprising”?
Well, you’re not very talented or accomplished, are you?
There’s some truth in that. On the other hand, I’m not all that successful.
OK then, why are you such an unsurprising unsuccess?
It’s not my fault. The world has let me down, it doesn’t understand me.
Perhaps it’s more likely you don’t understand the world?
Gah! I’ve thought alot about the world, but the world thinks very little of me.
There is that. Then again, you can say the same about most people.
No I couldn’t. It would take too long.
Well, you wouldn’t have to name them.
Of course not. I’m pretty sure they were already named by their parents.
Never mind them, we were talking about you. Why is there a terrycolon.com?
Like they kind-of say: Some see things as they are and ask why. I see things that never were and ask, “What in the world is that?”
And do you ever answer yourself?
No. It’s bad enough I see things that aren’t there. It’d be totally crazy to talk to them.
Sort-of like talking to yourself in the mirror?
Worse. Like yourself in the mirror talking back.
Needless to say…
It goes without saying.
You don’t say.
I think I just didn’t.
Filed 8/30/23
(Or a Short Bit Explaining Why There Was No New Content Yesterday)
Filed in Spot and Smith 8/26/23
Hover for question punchline
Filed 8/21/23
Brain Tweezers (Mit Dr. Sigmund Fraud)
Filed 8/16/23
“But why, Harvey? We’ve gone unchanged for millions of years.”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 8/14/23
Everything old is new again. And vice-versa.
Filed in A Dog’s Breakfast archives 7/31/23
Hover for question punchline
Filed 7/26/23
“Hey. I voted for her.”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 7/24/23
A pop culture gag dredged up from thirty or so years ago. I guess you have to be at least fifty to get the reference. Well, it was funny back then. Perhaps. Chalk it up to Boomer-Humor.
Filed in A Dog’s Breakfast archives 7/21/23
Weary the Cynical Dog
Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 7/17/23
“You don’t have chronic heartburn. You have an
overactive warm fuzzy.”
Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 7/7/23
Well, Depending on Your Point of View
And the point of view from under the bed: frightening!
Refiled from last year at this time
