baby2 baby2 baby2 baby2 baby1
slick2 slick2 slick2 slick2 slick1

Current

Another T.G.I.Funday

quack-quack

“It’s a quack-quack here and a quack-quack there, here a quack,
there a quack, everywhere a quack-quack...”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 12/1/23

Failed First Drafts of Clichés

cliches
cliches cliches

As Ernest Hemmingway is supposed to have said, “The first draft of anything is crap.” Which doesn’t mean the second is any good or “the third time’s the charm.” After all, “three strikes and you’re out.” The key to coming up with a memorable, pithy quote is knowing when to stop. Below are a few adages, saws, or sayings rendered less than ideal by excess verbiage tacked on the end. That’s why nobody remembers them. Or has ever heard them, really.

Top Ten Failed First Drafts of Old Clichés

  1. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, then stab ’em in the back.
  2. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.
  3. The third time’s the charm and the fourth time is getting monotonous.
  4. Visitors and fish stink after three days, so never invite fish over for a three-day weekend.
  5. Two’s company, and three’s a crowd, and four’s a mob, and five’s a horde, and six will get you seven.
  6. A penny saved is a penny earned and not much of an income.
  7. He who hesitates is lost and he who is lost hesitates. Don’t wait, get a map.
  8. A man on horseback will never know the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground.
  9. If at first you don’t succeed try, try again and again and again ad nauseam until you die a broken man.

I know, I know, there’s only nine of these gems and not ten as advertised, but you know what they say, “Quit while you’re ahead.” Ignoring that sage advice is the problem with all the above. Though if you quit before the game’s over you forfeit and lose, as they also tell us, “Quitters never win.” It’s like, Damned if you do and damned if you don’t and damned if you don’t know enough is enough alright already.

Filed 11/29/23

Ye Olde Classic Cannibal Cartoon

cannibal-pot

“OK, the jungle sales trip was my idea, but whose bright idea
was it to sell giant cooking pots?”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 11/17/23

hand-and

Talking Heads

Another Vacation from Reality Day

talk-heads-36 talk-heads-36

Filed in Talking Heads 11/20/23

Funday Fry

fit-like-glove

“What’s the problem, sir. Those pants fit you like a glove.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 11/17/23

jeopardy-lil-guy

That’s Not Entertainment for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-13 jeopardy-13 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 11/15/23

plushand

Funday Mon

spot-smith12 spot-smith12

Filed in Spot and Smith 11/13/23

Quickies

Funk, Wagnall, and Webster Redux

quickie16

Filed 11/10/23

hand-and

Not Super Tuesday

spot-smith11 spot-smith11

Filed in Spot and Smith 11/8/23

Quickies

Monday Schmunday

quickie15

Filed 11/6/23

Dusting Off a Never Before Seen Oldie

tune-up

“We’ve adjusted your timing and now you get ESPN.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 11/3/23

minime
plushand

Weary the Cynical Dog

If Poverty Causes Crime, Does Wealth Cause Honesty?

weary-dog36 weary-dog36

Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 11/1/23

hand-and

Talking Heads

The Day Before the Night Before the… Uh… Joke

talk-heads35 talk-heads35

Filed in Talking Heads 10/30/23

Boys in the Hoodie

Fool or Fun

boys4a boys-2a boys-2a boys-2a

Hover panels to enlarge

Filed 10/27/23

go-go

Uncritical Mass

joe-46 joe-46B joe-46C joe-46

Hover to open book

Filed in The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair 10/25/23

hand-and
real-science

Kurmudgeon Kat

Do You Feel Lucky?

kat-36 kat-36

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 10/23/23

Twofer Friday

st-elmo

“Sorry, but some of as really ARE holier than thou.”

A cartoon and a joke. That’s two, two, two gags in one.

Besides Saint Peter at the legendary pearly gates of Heaven, not as well know is Saint Elmo at the complaint desk. Where one recent day a disappointed newcomer grumbles, “Don’t I get a harp, wings and halo?”

“First, you don’t play the harp,” says the saint. “Next, only angels have wings. Lastly, you aren’t a saint, you’re just dead.”

“That’s unacceptable. I demand to see my lawyer.”

“Go to Hell.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 10/20/23

Humpday Ha

mrs-poppinfresh

“Sorry, Mrs. Poppinfresh, by the time the ambulance got here
he’d already lost too much creamy filling.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 10/18/23

plushand

Quickies

Monday Schmunday

quickie14b quickie14 quickie14

Filed 10/16/23

Tomorrow’s Future Today

(or comment without commentary)

replacement-flag replacement-flag

The Replacement Flag

Filed 10/13/23

jeopardy-lil-guy

Semi Dark for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-12 jeopardy-12 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 10/11/23

Monday Funday

no-shirt

“Can’t you read? Get it yourself.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 10/9/23

But It Is what Change Looks Like

genie

A genie grants a politician three wishes.

“I wish I were the smartest person in the world,” says the pol. “I wish I were the most popular person in the world. I wish everyone agreed with my policies.”

The genie folds his arms nodding three times saying, “Done, done and done.”

The politician walks out of his office and finds there’s absolutely nobody around as far as the eye can see. “Hey, genie, where is everyone?”

“To make you the smartest person in the world required eliminating everyone smarter, which left half of the population. To make you the most popular required liquidating all more popular people. That really reduced the remaining half. Unfortunately nobody agrees with anyone on everything, so that leaves just you.”

The politician stutters, “B-b-but that’s not what I had in mind at all.”

The genie replies, “There are always unintended consequences in wishes and politics. Still, you are now the smartest, most popular person in the world and nobody disagrees with you.”

“Well then, I’ve changed my mind…”

Poof! The politician disappeared.

The moral of the story: Man who disagrees with self gets nowhere.

Filed 10/6/23

plushand

Weary the Cynical Dog

The Unbearable Hubris of Being Awoke

weary-dog35 weary-dog35

Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 10/4/23

hover-two

Are Playing Cards Based on the Calendar or Something?

spot-smith10 spot-smith10

Filed in Spot and Smith 10/2/23

T.G.I.Funday

office-frog

“Miss Porter, I’ll see the princess now.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 9/29/23

Sibilation Syllabus or Say It, Don’t Spray It Word Quiz

cycloidBG
robot-2 robot-3 robot-1 robot-eyes
ogre1 ogre2
rock

By gosh it’s the grand return of the word quiz. And by golly the return of Webio-Bot. Or maybe Webio-Bot Junior. OK, its really just some would-be jokes in word quiz form. And more! ’Cause it’s interactive, you get to click things. Woohoo!

Click on text to select or change your answer. Double-click to unselect.

sinecure

  1. headache remedy
  2. dotted line for signatures
  3. nose hair grooming
  4. Vice President of the Unites States

cynosure

  1. end bulb of a nose
  2. baby android
  3. celebrity du jour
  4. second poison dose administered just to make certain (booster shot)

syncope

  1. putting up with awful neighbors
  2. li’l word
  3. some kind of poem or something
  4. we got rhythm

cycloid

  1. computer animation loop
  2. wheeled robot
  3. one-eyed ogre
  4. circle-ish

scintilla

  1. wee bit
  2. doohickey hanging down on a French C
  3. dud fireworks
  4. the tingle from a spine tingler

Click for answers

(d) sinecure (sī′ nə kyŏŏr) a paid position requiring no work (you know, civil service job or diversity hire)

(c) cynosure (sī′ nə shŏŏr) Something that is a focal point of attention and admiration

(b) syncope (sĭn′ kə-pē) shortening of a word by omission of a middle part; i.e., bos’n for boatswain

(d) cycloid (sī′ klōĭd) resembling a circle

(a) scintilla (sĭn tĭl′-ə) minute amount, iota

Scoring
Doesn’t matter. You’re a winner just for reading terrycolon.com

Click to close

Filed in What’s That Supposed to mean? 10/2/23

Monday Moaning Funnies

barge-in

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 9/25/23

hand-and
real-science

Kurmudgeon Kat

Just Say Yes

kat-35 kat-35

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 9/22/23

hand-and

Talking Heads

W-r-o-n-g Joke

talk-heads34 talk-heads34

Filed in Talking Heads 9/20/23

jeopardy-lil-guy

Dad Jokes for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-11 jeopardy-11 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 9/18/23

T.G.I.Funday

“Please, give me sign.”

givemesign

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 9/15/23

hover-two

Thinking off the Rock

Noah Kidding

thinker34 thinker34a
thinker34b
think-hair

Filed in Thinking off the Rock 9/13/23

hoverhand

Talking Heads

No There There

talk-heads33 talk-heads33

Filed in Talking Heads 9/11/23

Gag Number Whatever

god-palmist

“Funny. I don’t see you in religion. I see you…
in entertainment. I see you… juggling.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 9/1/23

At Least He’s Not Over-Thinking It

joe-45
joe-45bubble joe-45bubble joe-45bubble joe-45bubble
joe-45

Hover to open book

Filed in The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair 9/5/23

T.G.I.Funday

cut-jib

“I was hoping you could improve the cut of my jib.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 9/1/23

dog-days

I Talk to Me

i-me

To what do you owe your surprising success?

Why “surprising”?

Well, you’re not very talented or accomplished, are you?

There’s some truth in that. On the other hand, I’m not all that successful.

OK then, why are you such an unsurprising unsuccess?

It’s not my fault. The world has let me down, it doesn’t understand me.

Perhaps it’s more likely you don’t understand the world?

Gah! I’ve thought alot about the world, but the world thinks very little of me.

There is that. Then again, you can say the same about most people.

No I couldn’t. It would take too long.

Well, you wouldn’t have to name them.

Of course not. I’m pretty sure they were already named by their parents.

Never mind them, we were talking about you. Why is there a terrycolon.com?

Like they kind-of say: Some see things as they are and ask why. I see things that never were and ask, “What in the world is that?”

And do you ever answer yourself?

No. It’s bad enough I see things that aren’t there. It’d be totally crazy to talk to them.

Sort-of like talking to yourself in the mirror?

Worse. Like yourself in the mirror talking back.

Needless to say…

It goes without saying.

You don’t say.

I think I just didn’t.

Filed 8/30/23

Monday Moaning Funnies

dubious-lucrative

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 8/28/23

Power Outage

(Or a Short Bit Explaining Why There Was No New Content Yesterday)

spot-smith9

Filed in Spot and Smith 8/26/23

Another Humpday Ha

think-tank

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 8/23/23

jeopardy-8b

Groaners for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-10 jeopardy-10 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 8/21/23

T.G.I.Funday

knitting

“Is there something you need to tell me?”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 8/18/23

andhand

Brain Tweezers (Mit Dr. Sigmund Fraud)

Down Memory Lame

fraud10 fraud10

Filed 8/16/23

It’s to Laugh Monday

sharks

“But why, Harvey? We’ve gone unchanged for millions of years.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 8/14/23

Ha-Ha-Happy Friday

dungeon

“Been here long?”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 8/11/23

Another Humpday Ha

simon-says

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 8/9/23

Cleared That Up

joe-44 joe-44spiral joe-44spiral joe-44fog joe-44

Hover to open book

Filed in The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair 8/7/23

T.G.I.Funday

phrenology

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 8/4/23

plushand
real-science

Kurmudgeon Kat

Y or Y Not, That is the Question

kat-34 kat-34

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 8/2/23

From out of the Memory Hole into News of Today

DB33

Everything old is new again. And vice-versa.

Filed in A Dog’s Breakfast archives 7/31/23

Ah-h, Summer Funnies

pirate-nudist

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 7/28/23

hohoho

Groaners for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-9 jeopardy-9 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 7/26/23

voted4her

“Hey. I voted for her.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 7/24/23

From out of the Memory Hole

DB32

A pop culture gag dredged up from thirty or so years ago. I guess you have to be at least fifty to get the reference. Well, it was funny back then. Perhaps. Chalk it up to Boomer-Humor.

Filed in A Dog’s Breakfast archives 7/21/23

Humpday Funnies

grandma-auto

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 7/19/23

plushand

Weary the Cynical Dog

Doot-Doot Doodle-Oodle-Oot-Doot Doo-Doo

weary-dog34 weary-dog34

Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 7/17/23

hover-two

Thinking off the Rock

Who’s on First

think-base2 thinker33b
thinker33a
think-hair

Filed in Thinking off the Rock 7/14/23

hoverhand

Talking Heads

Or so They Say

talk-heads32 talk-heads32

Filed in Talking Heads 7/12/23

Monday Funnies

superman

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 7/10/23

T.G.I.Funday

warm-fuzzy

“You don’t have chronic heartburn. You have an
overactive warm fuzzy.”

Filed in Gag Cartoon Gallery 7/7/23

Celebrate the Fourth

Well, Depending on Your Point of View

fourth2 burst1 burst2 burst4 burst3 fourth1 fourth3 fourth4

And the point of view from under the bed: frightening!

Refiled from last year at this time

hover-two

2023 Part Two Begins

spot-smith8 spot-smith8

Filed in Spot and Smith 7/3/23

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