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Current

so-blue

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 1582 Pope Gregory XIII (portrayed by Gary Coleman) established the every fourth year leap day, February 29, by issuing the papal bull Inter gravissimas introducing the modern calendar we enjoy today. And if you don’t enjoy it, you’re just no fun.

Source: A little birdie

Gag Cartoonery

campaign-ribbons

“These? They’re propaganda campaign ribbons.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 2/28/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 1876 Alexander Graham Bell (portrayed by Sherman Hemsley) invented the telephone which he used the very first time to call his assistant Thomas A. Watson (portrayed by Nigel Bruce) asking him if he wanted to change his long-distance provider.

Source: My big brother told me

Weary the Cynical Dog

Doublethink Again

weary-dog38

Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 2/26/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 334 BC Alexander the Great (portrayed by Denzel Washington) defeated Darius the Not-So-Hot (portrayed by Tim Robbins) at the Battle of the Bands; on which site he later founded a provincial capital named after himself: Great Neck, New Jersey.

Source: I read it somewhere or other

X-Y Axis Plot Flow Diagram Chart #9
Cash Flow Job

lucrative
wing piggie wing
wing piggie wing

Click pic to replay animation

Filed in X-Y Axis Charts off the Grid 2/23/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 1927 Charles Lindberg (portrayed by Lou Gosset Jr.) flew solo across the Atlantic ocean. Solo in fact half the time he was underwater. When appraised of that pun “Lucky Chuckie” declined to comment or laugh.

Source: The Nigerian Prince

Gag Cartoonery

godzillas

“This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 2/21/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 2017, Golda Haffmann (portrayed by Ru Paul) published the first periodic table of human genders. (Updated weekly as more genders are “discovered.”)

Source: U.S. Department of the Inferior

CW

Deet Deet Deedle-Eedle Eet-Eet Dee-Dee

floatyBG floatyYarmulka floatyGo floatyWire
floatyLleg floatyRleg floatyJoe floatyLarm floatyRarm floaty

Here it is: everything you could ever ask for (but didn’t) in a Daily Dump post. Only at (accept no imitations) terrycolon.com, the very epitome of less is more. (Whatever that means) And the beat goes on. Yadda yadda dee, yadda yadda dah.

Filed 2/19/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 1956 the Soviet Union (portrayed by Nigeria) launched the first man-made sattelite, Sputnik, which orbited Earth emitting a beeping signal, translated from the Russian as, “Nya-ah nyah-nyah nya-ah nyah.”

Source: Bureau of Labored Statistics

goofy-lady

Tit for Tat for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy16 jeopardy16 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed in Joke Jeopardy! 2/16/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 250 BC Archimedes of Syracuse (portrayed by Denzel Washington) formulated the concept of the replacement of water in a bathtub and cried out, “Eureka!” which is Greek for, “Ta-da!”

Source: Whole Cloth Catalog

Gag Cartoonery

not-in-mood

“Wilson, please inform my wife that I’m really not in the mood.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 2/14/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 1814 Ludwig Von Beethoven (portrayed by Jamie Fox) loses the lost chord, possibly in a box of unused computer cables in his attic (or someplace).

Source: Wishipedia

Talking Heads

That’s Faux Amusing

talk-heads-37

Filed in Talking Heads 2/12/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 80 million BC Eve (portrayed by Whoopie Goldberg) was created and became the first uncredited woman behind everything any man ever did, ever.

Source: The Fraud Foundation

Gag Cartoonery

three-star

“Sorry, general, but we’re a three star hotel.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 2/9/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 11,000 BC an ancient Egyptian invented the wheel which languished for centuries until an ancient Israelite stumbled upon it and immediately sued for damages.

Source: Bureau of Lying Matters

Weary the Cynical Dog

A Fewer and Fewer Good Men

weary-dog37

Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 2/8/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 1430 Isaac Newton (portrayed by Damon Wayons) gets the idea for his theory of gravity when an apple tree falls on his gardener.

Source: Antifact

Gag Cartoonery

snowman-scale

“It’s just some extra water weight. It’ll come off in the spring.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 2/7/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 1492 Christopher Columbus (portrayed by Denzel Washington) was discovered by the Carib Indians.

Source: Wiki News of the World

goofy-soccer-man

Frosty Bits for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy15 jeopardy15 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed in Joke Jeopardy! 2/5/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 1754 Benjamin Franklin (portrayed by Morgan Freeman) famously flew a kite in a raging thunderstorm providing the key to modern electrical theory.

Source: A guy on 8-Mile with a red hat

Gag Cartoonery

nike

“Gee, I’d hate to see what happened to the loser.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 2/2/24

Quack History Month –Didja Know…

On or about this date in 1938, Jesse Owens (portrayed by Will Smith) was awarded the Nobel prize for making enormous strides in Quantum Athletics.

Source: Ministry of Propaganda

Under Weather Update

Relapse from yesterday. (see below which came before) I’m not out of the woods (a notorious bad area under the weather) and in fact took a turn for the worse and went back into the woods. Not the merry cartoon woods full of bluebirds, rabbits and happy-go-lucky chipmunks, no-o-o-o. A woods full of squishy moss, nasty prickly things and downright rude bushy bits.

Which is all to say, nothing new (other than this telling you thus) for today. Hope to be back at it soon giving you exciting-like trivial drivel like: You can remove one letter at a time from the word relapse and have a word left. Relapse, elapse, lapse, laps, lap, la, a. OK, I grant you la is Spanish (Español) but, and here’s the important thing (importante cosa), it is a palabra (word).

So I lied, there is new content. Of a sort.

Filed 1/31/24

As a Matter of Unfact…

sickbed sickbed2 sickbed3 sickbed1

Nothing new added yesterday as customary because your bending author (why bending? I dunno) was laid up under the weather. Odd expression that. Under the weather. When are we not under the weather? Where else would the weather be? The expression comes from (I’m making this up, honest) being sick on a rocking and rolling ship in nasty weather. (Sick of rock and roll. Sounds about right.)

This raises the question, when you’re over the illness are you over the weather. You might be if you’re in a plane flying above the clouds. It could be raining below but you’d be over the weather. Mostly. Though is there is lighting coming off the tops of clouds going off into space, meaning being over the weather might not be all gas and gaiters. (It’s a Britism from... Lord knows.)

Anyway, I dragged myself up out of my sickbed (though the bed wasn’t sick, I was) to add this entry to the growing volumes of the old site where it will slide off into the sunset to be forgotten. Or ignored in the first place.

Filed 1/30/24

Gag Cartoonery

death-flasher

“I thought it was supposed to be your LIFE that
flashed before your eyes.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 1/26/24

Furious Fun with Uncle Sham and Auntie Fah

AuntieF1 AuntieF1

Hover over art for part two

Filed 1/24/24

Gag Cartoonery

optimist!

“Optimist!”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 1/22/24

above-you

All Mixed up for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy14 jeopardy14 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed in Joke Jeopardy! 1/19/24

Gag Cartoonery

blind-couple

“Something’s come between us, Harvey, I can feel it.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 1/17/24

more-hand

Kurmudgeon Kat

Why, Johnny Can’t Read Either

kat-38 kat-38

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 1/15/24

Gag Cartoonery

meta-anatomy

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 1/12/24

Let There Be Lightbulb Jokes

lightbulb-comic

Who’d ever have thought lightbulbs were so funny? Who started this sort of gag riddle, and when? Where do new new lightbulb jokes come from? In the case of this post, they come from right here at terrycolon.com where I add some of my own to the lightbulb gag glut. Without further ado:

Five Brand Spanking New Lightbulb Jokes

How many spellcheckers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Won oar too, deep ending.

How many Mexican soccer players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Uno-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
Change it into what?

How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Does it have to be a lightbulb?

How many editors does it take require to change replace a lightbulb lighting unit?
TK

Ten Not Quite as New Lightbulb Jokes

Culled from previous posts, just so they’re all together again for the first time.

How many dreamers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, ideally.

How many NASA technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
They can’t, it ain’t rocket science.

How many drill sergeants does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Drill sergeants don’t let the lightbulbs quit.

How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
n

How many cartoonists does it take to change a lightbulb?
You don’t need a cartoonist, any moron can change a lightbulb.

How many physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, theoretically.

How many plagiarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, theoretically.

How many grumpy old men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ga-a-a-h, the light bulb can screw itself.

How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I’ll tell you later.

How many honest politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. Good luck finding that one.

Filed 1/10/24

Gag Cartoonery

sperm-egg

“Every time we make love he brings like a hundred of his friends.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 1/8/24

Quickies

Beyond the Post-Modern Age: the Post-Toasties Era

fools-paradigm2 fools-paradigm

Filed 1/5/24

2023 Rearview Review Rerun

Gag Cartoonery

bookmobile

Why is this gag cartoon again, you ask again. Because it was bought and published by Reader’s Digest in September, I answer. That makes it another highlight to me. (see below)

First filed in Gag Cartoonery 2/18/22

Wait for It…

NY2024
NY2024-babyR NY2024-baby NY2024-babyL
NY2024-clock NY2024-clockM NY2024-clockH NY2024-clockS
NY2024-type NY2024-confetti NY2024-confetti

Top Ten New Years Resolutions (suggested by my mom)

  1. Sit up straight and stop fidgeting
  2. Turn off the TV and go outside and play
  3. Get a haircut
  4. Don’t touch things you don’t know where they’ve been
  5. Be careful you may poke somebody’s eye out with that
  6. Don’t play with your food and eat your vegetables
  7. Don’t start that again
  8. Don’t dare leave the house looking like that, and change your underwear
  9. Go ask your father
  10. For Pete’s sake stop picking your nose

Filed 1/1/24

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