2020 July-December

Jingle Your Bells

’Tis the first day of winter. And also the first day of the rest of your life. And four shopping days until Christmas. Five until Boxing Day.

Filed 12/21/20

Who Put the X in Xmas?

What’s with Xmas? Where’d that come from? Was it semi-literate folks who could spell mas but not Christ? Is it a Christian cross that fell over? Was it slackers who were too lazy to spell out the whole thing? Or was it atheists who wanted a holiday without the holy?

None of the above. Here’s what it’s all about. The X in Xmas is not a Roman X, but a Greek X. See, the New Testament was written in Greek wherein the first letter of Christ is chi, X in the Greek alphabet. (top red box) So X is shorthand for Christ. When Xmas came about is unknown, but by the fifteenth century Xmas for Christmas was widely used. (gold box) Back in the day, X for Christ also gave you Xian for Christian as well as Xianity for Christianity. These latter two usages are not used much any more, if used at all.

Now for some bonus trivia. The first two letters of Christ in Greek are chi (X) and rho (p). These form the chi-rho monogram employed by the Christian Roman Emperor, Constantine, on his banner. (green box) Lastly we have Merry Christmas in Grecian. (purple box) Just don’t ask me to pronounce it. It’s Greek to me. Silly joke, but you had to figure it was coming.

Filed 12/15/20

Web Space, the Final Frontier

A doodle-toon of the heavens gone absurd —marking the end of the week and when reality as we knew it went off the rails.

Filed 12/11/20

Humpday True Tale

An anecdote “borrowed” from Reader’s Digest, as told by Tracy Baxter:

My church choir was in the middle of rehearsing a requiem for an upcoming concert and, with the concert date fast approaching, our director was getting a little more picky about various elements of our performance. During one rehearsal he interrupted us to comment on the fact that we were breathing in the wrong spot.

“No, no, no!” he said. “There is to be no breathing after death.”

Filed 12/9/20

Monday Titter

Mouseover art for punch line

Source: Guy Walks Into a Bar
Filed 12/7/20

Dumb & Dummy

“Re-emerge”

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Filed 12/5/20

Friday Funnies

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Source: Guy Walks Into a Bar
Filed 12/4/20

Ballet L’Architecture

Here’s something than makes no sense to me, yet it happens all the time.

I had an appointment to get an MRI of the old cervical vertebrae the other day. The appointment was made for 4:30, or so they said. They telephoned to remind me the day before and told me to come fifteen minutes early to fill out needed paperwork. This come-early-to-fill-out-forms is the usual in medical circles. This raises the question, why don’t they just make the appointment for 4:15 in the first place? I mean, it’s not like the patient form filling out practice came as a last minute surprise to the medical staff, eh what? Why do they do it that way? It’s a mystery.

Just like the mystery of the opening cartoony-doodley-arty-thingy at the top of this entry. It doesn’t really go with the text, as such it makes no sense. But it’s my common practice to have a bit of art at the start of every entry and so… there it be. Don’t ask me to explain it. As somebody-or-other said, “Talking about art is like dancing about architecture.”

Filed 12/3/20

December Snow Daze

Filed 12/1/20

Monday Funnies

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Source: Guy Walks Into a Bar
Filed 11/30/20

Bull Moose Party Guy?

Mouse Utopia –Too Much of a Good Thing or Nothing Fails Like Success

Filed 11/24/20

Ten Days Later…

I get the stitches out of the pinky finger today. Good-oh. Though it’s still a bit sore, especially if I bang it or something. Still, it is progress.

Filed 11/23/20

Monday the Sixteenth But…

Seems Friday the thirteenth never ends! It’s Monday and the furnace went out. What’s next? A tree falls on the house? All I can say is, “#@ø%*&+!!!”

Filed 11/16/20

OOPS!

Turns out Friday the thirteenth was pretty unlucky for your unbending author/ cartoonist/doodler/blogger. (Or is that bending? I don’t know. I’ve never understood what that meant anyway.) The bad luck: I broke a glass tumbler. (I don’t know why a drinking cup without a handle is called a tumbler, either. The last thing you want is for the thing to tumble. Which is what the tumbler in question did. With unfortunate results.)

Now then, a broken glass is no big deal, you say. True enough. Unless you cut yourself on a sharp bit of it, which I did with the pinkie finger of my left hand. After some profuse bleeding and a trip to emergency, I now sport three stitches on same. What can I say but ,“Ouch!”? Though that’s not what I said at the time, believe me. In cartoonese that would be “#@ø%*&+!!!”

Filed 11/14/20

Red Alert

Filed 11/13/20

And Now…

Another anecdote from Reader’s Digest

Losing my father was bad enough. So imagine my surprise when I spotted my name in the obituaries instead of his. I had to phone a friend.

“Did you see the report of my death in the paper?” I asked. His reply…

Filed 11/10/20

A Joke Plus

Mouseover art for punch line and add-on gag

Source: Man Walks into a Bar
Filed 11/9/20

Some Doodle Thingies Talking

If you speak doodle this will be pretty darn funny to you. If you don’t talk doodle-talk, it will still be funny, only funny strange not funny ha-ha. Some day I may explain all the doodles and whatnot, but not just yet.

Filed 11/4/20

Happy Hallowe’en’en

Funny thing about Hallowe’en (All Hallows’ Eve) most folks celebrate the eve of the holiday, but not the actual holiday. You know, All Saints’ Day. Seems the apostrophe in Hallowe’en got lost along the way, too. As in Halloween.

Anyway, I suppose people just like to dress up in scary/funny getups and wear masks, which isn’t done on All Saints’ Day that I know of. Though the mask wearing part we get to do every day now. By the way, November first is the start of Allhallowtide, in case you didn’t know.

Filed 10/30/20

Watzit?

Night Visitors

Is it supposed to be some kind of art, a study, a colorized doodle, a twilight zone cartoon, or what? Frankly, I don’t know myself. It is a change of pace, something different. And entirely original, not an old joke from a new book. For what that’s worth. But it is animated. Sort of. Nothing moves, the colors change. Waste of time? Maybe. Isn’t that kinda what you came here for?

Filed 10/22/20

Tuesday Nyuck Nyuck

Filed 10/20/20

Tuesday Words of Wisdom, Sage Advice, or Whatever

Mouseover art for the punch line

Filed 10/13/20

Columbus Day Action Funnies

Everyone driving slower than you is a moron. Everyone driving faster than you is a maniac.

Source: Man Walks Into a Bar
Filed 10/12/20

Fun with Fractured Phrases

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A meeting like any other meeting, only more so. A boss like any other boss, only so more.

Adapted from: Man Walks Into a Bar
Filed 9/30/20

Friday Fun

Because it just wouldn’t be Friday without yesterday being Thursday.

Adapted from: Man Walks Into a Bar
Filed 9/25/20

Monday Action Funnies

Source: Man Walks Into a Bar
Filed 9/21/20

Thursday Interactive for No Good Reason Gag

Mouseover art for the punch line

Source: Man Walks into a Bar (big surprise)
Filed 9/17/20

Tuesday Quirky Quote

Then again, he said it before there was the Internet, and so… you know.

Filed 9/15/20

Weekender Ho Ho

Mouseover art for the punch line

Source: Man Walks into a Bar
Filed 9/12/20

Wednesday Words of Wisdom or What

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Filed 9/9/20

2 4 1 Monday

I just can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each.

Source: Reader’s Digest
Filed 8/31/20

Dumb & Dummy

“The Liarists”

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Filed 8/27/20

Fun Fakts and Trivel

Source: Man Walks Into a Bar
Filed 8/26/20

Monday Words of Wisdom, Sage Advice, or Whatever

Mouseover art for the second punch line

Filed 8/24/20

Thursday Chuckle

Source: Man Walks Into a Bar
Filed 8/20/20

Guy Walks into a Bar…

Mouseover art for the punch line

Filed 8/19/20

Monday Funday

Filed 8/17/20

Tuesday Is Toon Day, Too

Source: Man Walks Into a Bar
Filed 8/11/20

Sunday Funnies Redone

These jokes may all seem familiar, because they are. I redid the gags in a new “Answerman” format. Mainly because I didn’t want to keep using the same two fat guys, Qube and Abe, to tell the jokes. This way it’s new people asking the questions. Which won’t make if funnier, just differenter, so to speak.

Source: Man Walks Into a Bar
Refiled 8/9/20

Thursday Funnies Quote- Joke -Unquote

Source: Man Walks Into a Bar
Filed 8/6/20

Wodin Day Wa-Ha-Ha

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Source: Wherever old jokes come from
Filed 8/5/20

More Words of Wisdom, Sage Advice, or Whatever It Is

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Most people, not being students of Chinese history, which goes back before the ancients, believe it or not, don’t realize Confucius was the very first known stand-up philosopher. And look, his material still holds up, eh?

Filed 7/31/20

Mouseover the tabs to “hear the diaolog.”

Filed 7/28/20

And Now, Words of Wisdom, of Sorts

I bring you ancient Chinese pearls of wisdom presented in the good old-fashioned “Confucius Say” joke form. Which are a lot like fortune cookie gags, oneliners presented in sage advice form, sometimes wise, sometimes wise-ass. It’s a classic form, like knock-knock jokes, what-do-you-get-when-you-cross gags, and a-man-walks-into-a-bar bits. Anyway, in this old-timey form, Confucius talks like a fortune cookie or Charlie Chan from movies of the thirties. You know, slightly fractured English. That’s the tradition, and I am not one to buck tradition. Without further ado, here goes nothing…

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Filed 7/27/20

Yet One More Mouseover Gimmick Comic

Mouseover art for the punch line

Filed 7/23/20

Another Mouseover Gimmick Comic

Mouseover art for the punch lines

Filed 7/19/20

Teachers Share Some Real Questions from Real Students

Or real dumb questions from real dumb students. From Reader’s Digest.

Mouseover the tabs to “hear the diaolog.”

Filed 7/14/20

Quote- Joke -Unquote

As the customer gets to the general store, he notices a sign on the door: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! He carefully enters the store, but once inside all he sees is a fat old hound asleep on the floor. “Is that the dog people are supposed to beware of?” he asks the man behind the counter.

“Yep, that’s him,” the store owner says.

“He doesn’t look all that dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?”

“Because,” the owner replies, “before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”

Source: petcentral.chewy.com

Filed 7/10/20

Hm-m-m…

Filed 7/8/20