2023 January-June

Gag Cartoonery

car-meeting

“You’re probably wondering why I called you all here today.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 6/30/23

Gag Cartoonery

snooze-alarm

“Ignore it. It’s only the snooze alarm.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 6/28/23

Gag Cartoonery

opinion-inc

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 6/26/23

Gag Cartoonery

xtra-parts

“The big bag is the replaced parts we’re required to return to you. The little bag is the bits we couldn’t figure out where they went.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 6/23/23

A-a-a-h-h-h, Summer!

summer23A summer23B summer23C summer23D
summer23E summer23F summer23G summer23H summer23i

Enjoy it while it lasts. If you can.

Filed 6/21/23

Gag Cartoonery

location

“You know what they say; location, location, location.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 6/19/23

jeopardy-8b

Unamericana for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-8 jeopardy-8 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 6/16/23

Weary the Cynical Dog

Out Is In

weary-dog33 weary-dog33

Turn Vice into Virtue by Acting Naturally

Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 6/14/23

andhand

Kurmudgeon Kat

Thank You, Uncle Joe

kat-33

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 6/12/23

mouse-moremouse

Talking Heads

Need a Tip? Take a Tip. Have a Tip? Keep It.

talk-heads-31 talk-heads-31

Filed 6/9/23

Filed in Talking Heads 6/9/23

Quickies

Humpday Hm-m-m

flag2 flag1

Filed 6/7/23

hover-two

Let the Month Begin

spot-smith7 spot-smith7

Filed in Spot and Smith 6/1/23

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Thinking off the Rock

Veevalalies

thinker32 thinker32

Filed in Thinking off the Rock 5/30/23

Gag Cartoonery

romance-in-air

“Yep, seems romance is in the air.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 5/26/23

hover-two

Thinking off the Rock

Hey, Don’t Stare

thinker31b thinker31

Filed in Thinking off the Rock 5/24/23

hover-two

Another Monday Moanin

spot-smith6 spot-smith6

Filed in Spot and Smith 5/22/23

Gag Cartoonery

tolled

“You tolled, sir?”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 5/19/23

hoverhand

Kurmudgeon Kat

Growing Old Disgracefully

kat-32 kat-32

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 5/16/23

hover-two

Thinking off the Rock

Testing, One, Two

think-base thinker30a
thinker30b
think-hair

Filed in Thinking off the Rock 5/15/23

mouse-moremouse

Brain Tweezers (Mit Dr. Sigmund Fraud)

Wished I’d Never Woked up

fraud9 fraud9

Filed 5/12/23

andhand

Talking Heads

Cry Hater and Let Slip the Dogs of Woke

talk-heads-30 talk-heads-30

Filed in Talking Heads 5/10/23

don't-tell

Old Dog, New Dog, Same Trick

joe-43 joe-43L joe-43R joe-43

Hover to open book

Filed in The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair 5/8/23

Add to Your Betterized Fauxcabulary

Pseudo Psychicistry

dubious
dubious3 dubious2
dubious1 dubiousL dubiousR

Metaphysical Abilities of Dubious Value

Transmogrifry: Ability to cook any meat so it tastes like chicken

Clairnoyance: Ability to complete other peoples sentences for them

Gobbledegookery: Ability to speak in computer jargon without understanding what you’re actually talking about

Smellaportation: Ability to stink up your own and the adjoining room with a single fart

Waffellatio: Ability to agree with any side of an argument as needed

Thermbulation: Ability to walk on water at temperatures below 32 degrees Fahrenheit

Cyclekinesis: Ability to ride a bike like riding a bike

One more addition to an almost forgotten feature:

Betterize Your Fauxcabulary

Filed 5/3/23

Something Different

atom atom electron

Different from what I’ve lately been mostly doing on the old site. You know, jokes and would-be jokes and cartoons and the like. Instead, a link to some science stuff. A fresh take on the atom. Also different. As in different from the standard model of the atom. I could try to explain, but why bother when others have already done it better. And with video. And in a swanky English accent. Cheers:

The Structured Atom Model

Filed 5/1/23

smell-rat

That Stinks for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-7 jeopardy-7 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 4/28/23

hover-two

Thinking off the Rock

Hairy Thought

think-base thinker29a
thinker29b
think-hair

Filed in Thinking off the Rock 4/26/23

hoverhand

Talking Heads

No Wonder

talk-heads-29 talk-heads-29

Filed in Talking Heads 4/24/23

Gag Cartoonery

slices-bread

“I just invented it. It makes sliced bread.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 4/21/23

In a Decade Far Far Away for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-6 jeopardy-6 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 4/18/23

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Thinking off the Rock

Now You Think It…

thinker28 thinker28a

Filed in Thinking off the Rock 4/14/23

andhand

Monday Blah Blah Blahs

fraud8 fraud8

Top Twelve Things Apathetic, Indifferent, Uninterested People Don’t Give

  1. a hoot
  2. a fig
  3. a rat’s behind
  4. a rat’s patootie
  5. a rat’s ass
  6. a flying fart
  7. a darn
  8. a damn
  9. a crap
  10. a sh**
  11. a f***
  12. a flying f***

Just as well they don’t give because nobody would want to take any of the listed items anyway. Except maybe apathetic folks who could take it or leave it without caring one way or another. Whatever.

Filed 4/10/23

mouse-moremouse

Talking Heads

Dollars to Donuts

talk-heads-28 talk-heads-28

Filed in Talking Heads 4/7/23

Boys in the Hoodie

boys-2a panel2 boys-2b panel3 boys-2b panel4 boys-2b

Hover on tabs for new toon panels

Filed 4/5/23

hoverhand

The Age of Fools Gold

spot-smith5 spot-smith5

Filed in Spot and Smith 4/3/23

Gag Cartoonery

lipservice

“Our word is our bond.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 3/31/23

hover-two

Thinking off the Rock

Outside the Box, Frame, Panel, Thing

thinker27 thinker27c thinker27a thinker27b

Is it funny? Not very. Why do I bother?, I hear myself asking. Because, I hear myself answering, I made a New Years resolution to update the old site every single day. Three times a week. Like it or not. Turns out more not than like. Not that I always keep my New Years resolutions. Come to think of it, I never do. Just wait till next year, things will be different. I won’t be more resolved, I’ll make an easier list. Promise. Right. That’s resolved then.

Filed 3/29/23

convertable

Potty Humor for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-5 jeopardy-5 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 3/24/23

Kurmudgeon Kat

Nyah Nah-Nah Nyah Nyah

kat-30

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 3/22/23

mouse-batman

All New Spring for 2023

spot-smith4 spot-smith4

Filed 3/20/23

T.G.I.Fun

cave-family

“Oh dear. Looks like your father has brought
work home with him again.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 3/17/23

It’s Earlier than You Think

mar13

Filed 3/13/23

Doctor Killjoke

We re Go for Joke. Go, Go, Go, Go…

killjoke3 killjoke-Lspiral killjoke-Rspiral killjoke-glasses

hover on art to kill joke

Filed 3/10/22

tumbril

Out of Date Gags for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-4 jeopardy-4 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 3/8/23

andhand

Talking Heads

Ah, Progress Ivism

talk-heads-27 talk-heads-27

Filed in Talking Heads 3/6/23

queer

Ah-h-h, Bliss

joe-42 joe-42

Hover to open book

Filed 3/3/23

hover-more

Brain Tweezers (Mit Dr. Sigmund Fraud)

Stop Me If You’ve Heard It Before

fraud7 fraud7

Filed 3/1/23

Betterize Your Fauxcabulary

Dispirit of the Times

bedlam bedlam2 bedlam3 bedlam1

First comes…
Feelosophy: Set of half-baked beliefs that make you feel virtuous and superior.

Justified by…
Nincomproof: Argument so incoherent and divorced from realty only the gullible and overeducated believe it

Leading to…
Wishteria: A pandemic of wishful thinking belief in a feelosophy.

Containing many a…
Psychophant: Crazed fanatical follower of a crazier fanatical leader.

Precipitating a…
Howl Movement: Working on the premise that the louder you shout it the truer it is.

Resulting in…
Kooktopia: Basically, the inmates running the asylum.

Filed 2/27/23

clown-world

It’s the Current Year for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-3 jeopardy-3 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 2/24/23

hoverhand

Weary the Cynical Dog

Liberal Art Attack

weary-dog30 weary-dog30

Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 2/22/23

hover-two

Quickies

Monday Rhymes with Funday

quickie13b quickie13

Filed 2/20/23

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Family Friendly Fun Friday

It’s Only a Joke, Spot

family16b family16a

Refiled 2/17/23

Oh-Oh Word Quiz

sleep sleep

This quiz is all about words that… which… of… uh… there is no theme in this word quiz. But they are presented in alphabetical order, so there is that for what it’s worth. And there is a pretty animated pic at the top, too, as well, also, in addition, to boot. Only from terrycolon.com, the site that gives you more.

Click on text to select or change your answer. Double-click to unselect.

dastard

  1. furious green sleep
  2. bowl for serving primordial soup
  3. over-educated imbecile
  4. underhanded sneaky prick

foible

  1. story with a silly lesson
  2. thin end of a sword
  3. short end of the stick
  4. slapstick rubber knife

imperator

  1. biggest big muckity-muck
  2. gremlin causing maddening glitches
  3. dimple-making machine
  4. irrepressible smart ass

pismire

  1. steaming, stinking mud puddle
  2. caste one step above untouchable
  3. urinal for women
  4. teeny-weeny ant

zetetic

  1. snore inducing
  2. Czech distance runner
  3. investigative
  4. last but not least

Click for answers

(d) dastard (dăs′ tərd) Base coward; poltroon; one who performs malicious actions in a cowardly, sneaking manner.

(b) foible (foi′ bəl) 1. Weaker part of a sword blade toward the point. [2. Minor weakness or failing of character]

(a) imperator (ĭm′-pər ā-tər)
1. Absolute or supreme ruler.
2. (Imperial Rome) emperor.
3. (Republican Rome) a temporary title accorded a victorious general.

(d) pismire (pĭs′ mīr) Ant; emmet. (now go look up emmet)

(c) zetetic (zə′ tĕ-tĭk) Proceeding by inquiry.

Scoring
5 — Da ta-da da!
4 – Close but no cigar
3 – Getting colder
2 – Not even close
1 – Booby prize
0 – Prize booby

Click to close

Go to the word quiz page for the full interactive word quiz fun and excitement:

What’s That Supposed to Mean?

Filed 2/15/23

hover-two

Quickies

Monday Baa Baa

quickie12b quickie12

Filed 2/13/23

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Thinking off the Rock

I Think Therefor I Think

thinker26 thinker26b thinker26b thinker26a thinker26c

Filed in Thinking off the Rock 2/10/23

snappymench

Some New Old Jokes

oldster

H.L. Mencken once said, “The older I get the more I realize there is no wisdom in age.” On the other hand, there is humor in it. And you can quote me on any of the following.

Terry’s Top Seven Things to Realize when You’re Not Getting Old, You’re Already There

  1. Old age is the price you pay for living well past your best-by date
  2. All you need to deal with old age is youth
  3. Remember, you’re not getting older, you’re getting riper
  4. When you’re old planning for the future just gets easier all the time
  5. You may only be as young as you feel, but you won’t look it
  6. Old age is when you can’t remember when you could remember when
  7. Being old means you’re a survivor, but not for much longer

Below are a couple of old lists of old old jokes from old posts of old. Because old is forever.

You Know You’re Old when…

  1. A trip to Barbados is not your idea of an adventure… a trip to the bathroom is
  2. The terms, rectifier, vertical hold, dial, and snow make you think, ‘television’… and not, ‘Huh?’
  3. Every new person you meet reminds you of someone you used to know… who might now be dead, you don’t remember
  4. You lost your hairbrush five years ago… and still haven’t realized it
  5. The people who wrote the music you listen to (on “the hifi”) are all dead… and nothing after 1970 should be called an oldie
  6. Your favorite descriptors are comfortable, practical, and affordable… and never “new and improved”
  7. If you had it to do over again you wouldn’t bother
  8. You realize you’re too old for that growing old gracefully crap
  9. You hit retirement and it hits back

Signs You Might be Getting Old

  1. Boy scouts often offer to help you cross the street
  2. Items from your childhood show up on Antiques Roadshow
  3. You go home at the time you used to go out
  4. You buy clothes for comfort rather than style
  5. You don’t need to show ID to buy booze, or to get a senior citizen discount
  6. “At the turn of the century” is 1900, not 2000
  7. Hair grows everywhere except on top of your head
  8. “Wait ’til next year” doesn’t seem that long a wait
  9. You don’t trust anyone under thirty

Filed 2/8/23

Kurmudgeon Kat

Curse that Darkness!

kat-29

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 2/6/23

Friday Funnies

English Be Odd

live-died

Filed 2/3/23

wavy

Punnishment for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-2 jeopardy-2 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 2/1/23

Boys in the Hoodie

boys-2a panel2 boys-2b panel3 boys-2b panel4 boys-2b

Hover on tabs for new toon panels

Filed 1/30/23

bonus

Brain Tweezers (Mit Dr. Sigmund Fraud)

One Standard Deviation

fraud6 fraud6

Filed 1/27/23

mouse-moremouse

Talking Heads

Gal Tawk

talk-heads-26 talk-heads-26

Filed in Talking Heads 1/25/23

Groaners for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-1 jeopardy-1 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 1/23/23

Oh-Oh Word Quiz

walloon-bg walloon-sign walloon-car1 walloon-car2 walloon-car3 walloon-car4 walloon-car5 walloon-car5 walloon-bg

Click on cartoon to replay animation

After doing none last year, this is already the second word quiz of 2023. Might be a vintage year for vocabulary tests. Vintage, a word that comes from… ah, but that would be giving it away for some future quiz. Perhaps, maybe, could be, we’ll see.

This quiz is all about words ending in -oon, for no reason other than words ending in -oon are fun. Balloon, cartoon, spittoon, macaroon. Fun and tasty, too.

Click on text to select or change your answer. Double-click to unselect.

dragoon

  1. Cross-dressing Mafioso
  2. Fire-breathing thug
  3. Head of a SE Asian tribe of headhunters (that is, a chief, not a severed head)
  4. Cavalryman who fights hand-to-hand on foot

Walloon

  1. Belgian that’s almost a Frenchman
  2. Balloon frame house wall
  3. Painted-on entrance some cartoon characters can enter, some can’t; cave painting
  4. Dutch version of Humpty Dumpty

poltroon

  1. Cross between a chicken and a raccoon
  2. That long pole gondoliers use to make the boat go
  3. Trapper’s cache of animal skins
  4. Wussy little fraidy-cat

pantaloon

  1. One trouser (half of a pair)
  2. Short-sighted dotty old buffoon
  3. Bird toe that’s on backwards
  4. Five pieces of eight (about a half doubloon; one loon)

spadroon

  1. Combination fork/spoon/knife/can-opener
  2. Those weird fluted collars worn in the 1500s
  3. Handled pointy thing for stabbing and cutting people
  4. Squadron of French planes in WWI

Click for answers

(d) dragoon (drə gōōn′) Cavalryman who fights on horseback and/or on foot.

(a) Walloon (wä′-lōōn) A member of a people of southern and southeastern Belgium and adjacent parts of France.

(d) poltroon (pōl trōōn′) Lazy, idle fellow; a sluggard; a fellow without spirit or courage; a dastard; a coward.

(b) pantaloon (păn′ tə lōōn) Commedia dell’arte character, usually a skinny old dotard wearing spectacles, slippers, and tight-fitting trousers and stockings. [Hence, pantaloons (with an S) loose-fitting usually shorter than ankle-length trousers]

(c) spadroon (spə′ drön) Light straight short sword (suitable for both cutting and thrusting)

Scoring
5 — Woo-Hoo!
4 – Oooh
3 – Oh, OK
2 – So-so
1 – Oh-oh
0 – Big fat O-fer

Click to close

Go to the word quiz page for the full interactive word quiz fun and excitement:

What’s That Supposed to Mean?

Filed 1/6/23

Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer –Or in This Case, a Good Laugh

Below are seven actual questions actually put to actual tour guides as collected by Travel Industry of America. Hover each tourist in the pic and they’ll ask a stupid question in typical cartoon word balloon style.

tourists
tourists4
tourists1
tourists2
tourists3
tourists5
tourists6
tourists7

Hover over each tourist to get the stupid questions

Filed 1/18/23

Kurmudgeon Kat

Anomie In the Offing

kat-28

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 1/16/23

Three in One Fun

We Was Playin’ Chess and…

chess
chess1 chess1
chess2 chess2
chess3 chess3

Hover the tabs to see the “punchlines.”

Filed 1/14/23

hover-two

Quickies

Did You Know…

quickie11b quickie11

Filed 1/11/23

lie-facts

Words of Wizdumb

joe-41 joe-41-b joe-41-b joe-41

Hover to open book

Filed in The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair 1/9/23

Words of the Times for 2022 (But Will still Be Going Strong in 2023)

jan4-2023 jan4-2023A jan4-2023B

Haven’t done one of these in a long while, but what the hey, let’s revisit the old dictionary pop quiz bit fun. You say you don’t find the dictionary pop quiz bit all that fun? There’s a word for people like you, though you won’t find it in the quiz, so there. Ha ha, I’ll have my fun without you.

officious

  1. Looking like a prototypical work cubicle, only without the charm
  2. Like a nitpicking busybody
  3. Sporting a shiny badge and a pretentious title
  4. Marked by bloat and inefficiency; bureaucratic

peculate

  1. To flex one’s chest muscles alternately in rhythmic fashion
  2. etc…

anomie

  1. A person who is neither friend nor foe…

subreption

  1. A hole in the sole of a shoe…

plutocrat

  1. Progressive from another planet (or planetoid, nobody is sure)…

Go to the word quiz page for the full interactive word quiz fun and excitement:

What’s That Supposed to Mean?

Filed 1/6/23

dose-reality

That Was the Year That Couldn’t

new-times new-times1 new-times2 new-times3

Top Ten Things That Didn’t Quite Happen in 2022

  1. King Charles fires court jester for “Who died and left you boss?” wisecrack
  2. Robots hijack self-driving cars and… I have no punchline for that
  3. FBI Exposed: People finally realize what “follow me” on Twitter really means
  4. DC bureaucrats reclassify natives as Unhyphenated-Americans
  5. New computer keyboards made with single alt key at lower left, the alt right key disappears
  6. IQ scores continue declining; nobody understands it
  7. Progressive mathematicians liberate calculations from oppressive “equals” sign (=) with more inclusive “feels like” sign (♥)
  8. Poll finds 115% of voters believe voting is 150% honest
  9. Uncle Sam replaced by Big Momma!
  10. Argentina beats French Africa to win World Cup

Filed 1/4/23

mouse-bonus

Talking Heads

Happy New Year!

talk-heads-25 talk-heads-25

Yep. The terrycolon.com robot monster has been at work behind the scenes retweaking or whatever the old site. No human input required. No human readership needed. The virtual future is now. Deal with it.

terrycolon.com New and Improvements for 2023

That’s it. That’s it? Yep, that’s all. Which is it, it or all? All of it. Sorry I asked.

And lucky you, 364 more days of the same sort of nonsense. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Filed 1/1/23

NEWER OLDER