2023 January-June
Gag Cartoonery
“You’re probably wondering why I called you all here today.”
Filed in Gag Cartoonery 6/30/23
Gag Cartoonery
“The big bag is the replaced parts we’re required to return to you. The little bag is the bits we couldn’t figure out where they went.”
Filed in Gag Cartoonery 6/23/23
A-a-a-h-h-h, Summer!
Enjoy it while it lasts. If you can.
Filed 6/21/23
Gag Cartoonery
“You know what they say; location, location, location.”
Filed in Gag Cartoonery 6/19/23
Unamericana for 200 Dollars, Alex
Hover for question punchline
Filed 6/16/23
Weary the Cynical Dog
Out Is In
Turn Vice into Virtue by Acting Naturally
Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 6/14/23
Talking Heads
Need a Tip? Take a Tip. Have a Tip? Keep It.
Filed 6/9/23
Filed in Talking Heads 6/9/23
Quickies
Humpday Hm-m-m
Filed 6/7/23
Brain Tweezers (Mit Dr. Sigmund Fraud)
Wished I’d Never Woked up
Filed 5/12/23
Old Dog, New Dog, Same Trick
Hover to open book
Filed in The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair 5/8/23
Add to Your Betterized Fauxcabulary
Pseudo Psychicistry
Metaphysical Abilities of Dubious Value
Transmogrifry: Ability to cook any meat so it tastes like chicken
Clairnoyance: Ability to complete other peoples sentences for them
Gobbledegookery: Ability to speak in computer jargon without understanding what you’re actually talking about
Smellaportation: Ability to stink up your own and the adjoining room with a single fart
Waffellatio: Ability to agree with any side of an argument as needed
Thermbulation: Ability to walk on water at temperatures below 32 degrees Fahrenheit
Cyclekinesis: Ability to ride a bike like riding a bike
One more addition to an almost forgotten feature:
Filed 5/3/23
Something Different
Different from what I’ve lately been mostly doing on the old site. You know, jokes and would-be jokes and cartoons and the like. Instead, a link to some science stuff. A fresh take on the atom. Also different. As in different from the standard model of the atom. I could try to explain, but why bother when others have already done it better. And with video. And in a swanky English accent. Cheers:
Filed 5/1/23
That Stinks for 200 Dollars, Alex
Hover for question punchline
Filed 4/28/23
In a Decade Far Far Away for 200 Dollars, Alex
Hover for question punchline
Filed 4/18/23
Monday Blah Blah Blahs
Top Twelve Things Apathetic, Indifferent, Uninterested People Don’t Give
- a hoot
- a fig
- a rat’s behind
- a rat’s patootie
- a rat’s ass
- a flying fart
- a darn
- a damn
- a crap
- a sh**
- a f***
- a flying f***
Just as well they don’t give because nobody would want to take any of the listed items anyway. Except maybe apathetic folks who could take it or leave it without caring one way or another. Whatever.
Filed 4/10/23
Boys in the Hoodie
Hover on tabs for new toon panels
Filed 4/5/23
Thinking off the Rock
Outside the Box, Frame, Panel, Thing
Is it funny? Why do I bother? I made a New Years resolution to update the old site every single day; three times a week. Not that I always keep my New Years resolutions. Come to think of it, I never do. Just wait till next year, things will be different. I won’t be more resolved, I’ll make an easier list. Promise. Right. That’s resolved then.
Filed 3/29/23
Potty Humor for 200 Dollars, Alex
Hover for question punchline
Filed 3/24/23
All New Spring for 2023
Filed 3/20/23
T.G.I.Fun
“Oh dear. Looks like your father has brought
work home with him again.”
Filed in Gag Cartoonery 3/17/23
It’s Earlier than You Think
Filed 3/13/23
Doctor Killjoke
We re Go for Joke. Go, Go, Go, Go…
hover on art to kill joke
Filed 3/10/22
Out of Date Gags for 200 Dollars, Alex
Hover for question punchline
Filed 3/8/23
Ah-h-h, Bliss
Hover to open book
Filed 3/3/23
Brain Tweezers (Mit Dr. Sigmund Fraud)
Stop Me If You’ve Heard It Before
Filed 3/1/23
Betterize Your Fauxcabulary
Dispirit of the Times
First comes…
Feelosophy: Set of half-baked beliefs that make you feel virtuous and superior.
Justified by…
Nincomproof: Argument so incoherent and divorced from realty only the gullible and overeducated believe it
Leading to…
Wishteria: A pandemic of wishful thinking belief in a feelosophy.
Containing many a…
Psychophant: Crazed fanatical follower of a crazier fanatical leader.
Precipitating a…
Howl Movement: Working on the premise that the louder you shout it the truer it is.
Resulting in…
Kooktopia: Basically, the inmates running the asylum.
Filed 2/27/23
It’s the Current Year for 200 Dollars, Alex
Hover for question punchline
Filed 2/24/23
Quickies
Monday Rhymes with Funday
Filed 2/20/23
Family Friendly Fun Friday
It’s Only a Joke, Spot
Refiled 2/17/23
Oh-Oh Word Quiz
This quiz is all about words that… which… of… uh… there is no theme in this word quiz. But they are presented in alphabetical order, so there is that for what it’s worth. And there is a pretty animated pic at the top, too, as well, also, in addition, to boot. Only from terrycolon.com, the site that gives you more.
Click on text to select or change your answer. Double-click to unselect.
dastard
- furious green sleep
- bowl for serving primordial soup
- over-educated imbecile
- underhanded sneaky prick
foible
- story with a silly lesson
- thin end of a sword
- short end of the stick
- slapstick rubber knife
imperator
- biggest big muckity-muck
- gremlin causing maddening glitches
- dimple-making machine
- irrepressible smart ass
pismire
- steaming, stinking mud puddle
- caste one step above untouchable
- urinal for women
- teeny-weeny ant
zetetic
- snore inducing
- Czech distance runner
- investigative
- last but not least
Click for answers
(d) dastard (dăs′ tərd) Base coward; poltroon; one who performs malicious actions in a cowardly, sneaking manner.
(b) foible (foi′ bəl) 1. Weaker part of a sword blade toward the point. [2. Minor weakness or failing of character]
(a) imperator (ĭm′-pər ā-tər)
1. Absolute or supreme ruler.
2. (Imperial Rome) emperor.
3. (Republican Rome) a temporary title accorded a victorious general.
(d) pismire (pĭs′ mīr) Ant; emmet. (now go look up emmet)
(c) zetetic (zə′ tĕ-tĭk) Proceeding by inquiry.
Scoring
5 — Da ta-da da!
4 – Close but no cigar
3 – Getting colder
2 – Not even close
1 – Booby prize
0 – Prize booby
Click to close
Go to the word quiz page for the full interactive word quiz fun and excitement:
Filed 2/15/23
Quickies
Monday Baa Baa
Filed 2/13/23
Some New Old Jokes
H.L. Mencken once said, “The older I get the more I realize there is no wisdom in age.” On the other hand, there is humor in it. And you can quote me on any of the following.
Terry’s Top Seven Things to Realize when You’re Not Getting Old, You’re Already There
- Old age is the price you pay for living well past your best-by date
- All you need to deal with old age is youth
- Remember, you’re not getting older, you’re getting riper
- When you’re old planning for the future just gets easier all the time
- You may only be as young as you feel, but you won’t look it
- Old age is when you can’t remember when you could remember when
- Being old means you’re a survivor, but not for much longer
Below are a couple of old lists of old old jokes from old posts of old. Because old is forever.
You Know You’re Old when…
- A trip to Barbados is not your idea of an adventure… a trip to the bathroom is
- The terms, rectifier, vertical hold, dial, and snow make you think, ‘television’… and not, ‘Huh?’
- Every new person you meet reminds you of someone you used to know… who might now be dead, you don’t remember
- You lost your hairbrush five years ago… and still haven’t realized it
- The people who wrote the music you listen to (on “the hifi”) are all dead… and nothing after 1970 should be called an oldie
- Your favorite descriptors are comfortable, practical, and affordable… and never “new and improved”
- If you had it to do over again you wouldn’t bother
- You realize you’re too old for that growing old gracefully crap
- You hit retirement and it hits back
Signs You Might be Getting Old
- Boy scouts often offer to help you cross the street
- Items from your childhood show up on Antiques Roadshow
- You go home at the time you used to go out
- You buy clothes for comfort rather than style
- You don’t need to show ID to buy booze, or to get a senior citizen discount
- “At the turn of the century” is 1900, not 2000
- Hair grows everywhere except on top of your head
- “Wait ’til next year” doesn’t seem that long a wait
- You don’t trust anyone under thirty
Filed 2/8/23
Friday Funnies
English Be Odd
Filed 2/3/23
Punnishment for 200 Dollars, Alex
Hover for question punchline
Filed 2/1/23
Boys in the Hoodie
Hover on tabs for new toon panels
Filed 1/30/23
Brain Tweezers (Mit Dr. Sigmund Fraud)
One Standard Deviation
Filed 1/27/23
Groaners for 200 Dollars, Alex
Hover for question punchline
Filed 1/23/23
Oh-Oh Word Quiz
Click on cartoon to replay animation
After doing none last year, this is already the second word quiz of 2023. Might be a vintage year for vocabulary tests. Vintage, a word that comes from… ah, but that would be giving it away for some future quiz. Perhaps, maybe, could be, we’ll see.
This quiz is all about words ending in -oon, for no reason other than words ending in -oon are fun. Balloon, cartoon, spittoon, macaroon. Fun and tasty, too.
Click on text to select or change your answer. Double-click to unselect.
dragoon
- Cross-dressing Mafioso
- Fire-breathing thug
- Head of a SE Asian tribe of headhunters (that is, a chief, not a severed head)
- Cavalryman who fights hand-to-hand on foot
Walloon
- Belgian that’s almost a Frenchman
- Balloon frame house wall
- Painted-on entrance some cartoon characters can enter, some can’t; cave painting
- Dutch version of Humpty Dumpty
poltroon
- Cross between a chicken and a raccoon
- That long pole gondoliers use to make the boat go
- Trapper’s cache of animal skins
- Wussy little fraidy-cat
pantaloon
- One trouser (half of a pair)
- Short-sighted dotty old buffoon
- Bird toe that’s on backwards
- Five pieces of eight (about a half doubloon; one loon)
spadroon
- Combination fork/spoon/knife/can-opener
- Those weird fluted collars worn in the 1500s
- Handled pointy thing for stabbing and cutting people
- Squadron of French planes in WWI
Click for answers
(d) dragoon (drə gōōn′) Cavalryman who fights on horseback and/or on foot.
(a) Walloon (wä′-lōōn) A member of a people of southern and southeastern Belgium and adjacent parts of France.
(d) poltroon (pōl trōōn′) Lazy, idle fellow; a sluggard; a fellow without spirit or courage; a dastard; a coward.
(b) pantaloon (păn′ tə lōōn) Commedia dell’arte character, usually a skinny old dotard wearing spectacles, slippers, and tight-fitting trousers and stockings. [Hence, pantaloons (with an S) loose-fitting usually shorter than ankle-length trousers]
(c) spadroon (spə′ drön) Light straight short sword (suitable for both cutting and thrusting)
Scoring
5 — Woo-Hoo!
4 – Oooh
3 – Oh, OK
2 – So-so
1 – Oh-oh
0 – Big fat O-fer
Click to close
Go to the word quiz page for the full interactive word quiz fun and excitement:
Filed 1/6/23
Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer –Or in This Case, a Good Laugh
Below are seven actual questions actually put to actual tour guides as collected by Travel Industry of America. Hover each tourist in the pic and they’ll ask a stupid question in typical cartoon word balloon style.
Hover over each tourist to get the stupid questions
Filed 1/18/23
Three in One Fun
We Was Playin’ Chess and…
Hover the tabs to see the “punchlines.”
Filed 1/14/23
Quickies
Did You Know…
Filed 1/11/23
Words of the Times for 2022 (But Will still Be Going Strong in 2023)
Haven’t done one of these in a long while, but what the hey, let’s revisit the old dictionary pop quiz bit fun. You say you don’t find the dictionary pop quiz bit all that fun? There’s a word for people like you, though you won’t find it in the quiz, so there. Ha ha, I’ll have my fun without you.
officious
- Looking like a prototypical work cubicle, only without the charm
- Like a nitpicking busybody
- Sporting a shiny badge and a pretentious title
- Marked by bloat and inefficiency; bureaucratic
peculate
- To flex one’s chest muscles alternately in rhythmic fashion
- etc…
anomie
- A person who is neither friend nor foe…
subreption
- A hole in the sole of a shoe…
plutocrat
- Progressive from another planet (or planetoid, nobody is sure)…
Go to the word quiz page for the full interactive word quiz fun and excitement:
Filed 1/6/23
That Was the Year That Couldn’t
Top Ten Things That Didn’t Quite Happen in 2022
- King Charles fires court jester for “Who died and left you boss?” wisecrack
- Robots hijack self-driving cars and… I have no punchline for that
- FBI Exposed: People finally realize what “follow me” on Twitter really means
- DC bureaucrats reclassify natives as Unhyphenated-Americans
- New computer keyboards made with single alt key at lower left, the alt right key disappears
- IQ scores continue declining; nobody understands it
- Progressive mathematicians liberate calculations from oppressive “equals” sign (=) with more inclusive “feels like” sign (♥)
- Poll finds 115% of voters believe voting is 150% honest
- Uncle Sam replaced by Big Momma!
- Argentina beats French Africa to win World Cup
Filed 1/4/23
Talking Heads
Happy New Year!
Yep. The terrycolon.com robot monster has been at work behind the scenes retweaking or whatever the old site. No human input required. No human readership needed. The virtual future is now. Deal with it.
terrycolon.com New and Improvements for 2023
- Redesigned navigation menus
- New Daily Dump Cartoon Serieses pages:
Dumb and Dummy Webtriloquism
Kurmedgeon Kat Quote and Comment
The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain
Talking Heads Detached Gags and Nonsense
Thinking off the Rock Pondering imponderables and mulling mulls
Weary the Talking Dog Barking Mad Cynicism
That’s it. That’s it? Yep, that’s all. Which is it, it or all? All of it. Sorry I asked.
And lucky you, 364 more days of the same sort of nonsense. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Filed 1/1/23