2023 July-December

2023 Rearview Review Rerun

Gag Cartoonery

cave-family

“Oh dear. Looks like your father has brought
work home with him again.”

Why is this gag cartoon again, you ask. Because it was bought and published by Reader’s Digest in October, I answer. That makes it a highlight to me, at any rate.

First filed in Gag Cartoonery 3/17/23

hand-and

Start of Something Cold

spot-smith13 spot-smith13

Filed in Spot and Smith 12/21/23

Gag Cartoonery

georgie-porgie

“You’re going to have to deal with these harassment complaints, Georgie. You can’t just run away.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 12/15/23

Gag Cartoonery

slow-biz

“It’s funny, things have been slow for me, too.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 12/13/23

Gag Cartoonery

poppinfresh-carbs

“You know, Mr. Poppinfresh, a low-carb diet isn’t
ideal for everyone.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 12/11/23

Kurmudgeon Kat

Whistful Thinking

kat-37

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 12/8/23

Gag Cartoonery

reduced

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 12/6/23

hand-and

Do You Know Your D.O.D. Bureaucratic Gobbledegook?

dod-speak2 dod-speak

I stumbled upon this list in the filed for later (much later it seems) use file and am not sure which of the listed items are real Defense Department euphemisms and which are my own or somebody else’s gag inventions. Which just goes to show reality is a self-parody nowadays. However, I am 100% sure at least half of them are the real deal. Or maybe I am half sure 100% are bona fide? Whatever the case, parody or fake-but-accurate, they are the very model of modern military intelligence.

To make a game of it, what are these military polysyllabifications in comprehensible English?

Hover over list to show answers

dod-speak2 dod-speak

Filed 12/4/23

Gag Cartoonery

quack-quack

“It’s a quack-quack here and a quack-quack there, here a quack,
there a quack, everywhere a quack-quack...”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 12/1/23

Failed First Drafts of Clichés

cliches
cliches cliches

As Ernest Hemmingway is supposed to have said, “The first draft of anything is crap.” Which doesn’t mean the second is any good or “the third time’s the charm.” After all, “three strikes and you’re out.” The key to coming up with a memorable, pithy quote is knowing when to stop. Below are a few adages, saws, or sayings rendered less than ideal by excess verbiage tacked on the end. That’s why nobody remembers them. Or has ever heard them, really.

Top Ten Failed First Drafts of Old Clichés

  1. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, then stab ’em in the back.
  2. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.
  3. The third time’s the charm and the fourth time is getting monotonous.
  4. Visitors and fish stink after three days, so never invite fish over for a three-day weekend.
  5. Two’s company, and three’s a crowd, and four’s a mob, and five’s a horde, and six will get you seven.
  6. A penny saved is a penny earned and not much of an income.
  7. He who hesitates is lost and he who is lost hesitates. Don’t wait, get a map.
  8. A man on horseback will never know the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground.
  9. If at first you don’t succeed try, try again and again and again ad nauseam until you die a broken man.

I know, I know, there’s only nine of these gems and not ten as advertised, but you know what they say, “Quit while you’re ahead.” Ignoring that sage advice is the problem with all the above. Though if you quit before the game’s over you forfeit and lose, as they also tell us, “Quitters never win.” It’s like, Damned if you do and damned if you don’t and damned if you don’t know enough is enough alright already.

Filed 11/29/23

Ye Olde Classic Cannibal Cartoon

cannibal-pot

“OK, the jungle sales trip was my idea, but whose bright idea
was it to sell giant cooking pots?”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 11/17/23

hand-and

Talking Heads

Another Vacation from Reality Day

talk-heads-36 talk-heads-36

Filed in Talking Heads 11/20/23

Gag Cartoonery

fit-like-glove

“What’s the problem, sir. Those pants fit you like a glove.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 11/17/23

jeopardy-lil-guy

That’s Not Entertainment for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-13 jeopardy-13 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 11/15/23

plushand

Funday Mon

spot-smith12 spot-smith12

Filed in Spot and Smith 11/13/23

Quickies

Funk, Wagnall, and Webster Redux

quickie16

Filed 11/10/23

hand-and

Not Super Tuesday

spot-smith11 spot-smith11

Filed in Spot and Smith 11/8/23

Quickies

Monday Schmunday

quickie15

Filed 11/6/23

Gag Cartoonery

tune-up

“We’ve adjusted your timing and now you get ESPN.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 11/3/23

minime
plushand

Weary the Cynical Dog

If Poverty Causes Crime, Does Wealth Cause Honesty?

weary-dog36 weary-dog36

Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 11/1/23

hand-and

Talking Heads

The Day Before the Night Before the… Uh… Joke

talk-heads35 talk-heads35

Filed in Talking Heads 10/30/23

Boys in the Hoodie

boys-2a panel2 boys-2b panel3 boys-2b panel4 boys-2b

Hover on tabs for new toon panels

Filed 10/27/23

go-go

Uncritical Mass

joe-46 joe-46B joe-46C joe-46

Hover to open book

Filed in The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair 10/25/23

real-science

Kurmudgeon Kat

Do You Feel Lucky?

kat-36

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 10/23/23

Twofer Friday

st-elmo

“Sorry, but some of as really ARE holier than thou.”

A cartoon and a joke that go together like, uh, two things that go together. And now, the joke:

Besides Saint Peter at the legendary pearly gates of Heaven, not as well know is Saint Elmo at the complaint desk where one recent day a disappointed newcomer grumbles, “What goes on here? Don’t I get a harp, wings and halo?”

“First, you don’t play the harp,” says the saint. “Next, only angels have wings. Lastly, you aren’t a saint, you’re just dead.”

“That’s unacceptable. I demand to see my lawyer.”

“Go to Hell.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 10/20/23

Humpday Ha

mrs-poppinfresh

“Sorry, Mrs. Poppinfresh, by the time the ambulance got here
he’d already lost too much creamy filling.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 10/18/23

plushand

Quickies

Monday Schmunday

quickie14b quickie14 quickie14

Filed 10/16/23

Tomorrow’s Future Today

(or comment without commentary)

replacement-flag replacement-flag

The Replacement Flag

Filed 10/13/23

jeopardy-lil-guy

Semi Dark for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-12 jeopardy-12 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 10/11/23

Gag Cartoonery

no-shirt

“Can’t you read? Get it yourself.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 10/9/23

But It Is what Change Looks Like

genie

A genie grants a politician three wishes.

“I wish I were the smartest person in the world,” says the pol. “I wish I were the most popular person in the world. I wish everyone agreed with my policies.”

The genie folds his arms nodding three times saying, “Done, done and done.”

The politician walks out of his office and finds there’s absolutely nobody around as far as the eye can see. “Hey, genie, where is everyone?”

“To make you the smartest person in the world required eliminating everyone smarter, which left half of the population. To make you the most popular required liquidating all more popular people. That really reduced the remaining half. Unfortunately nobody agrees with anyone on everything, so that leaves just you.”

The politician stutters, “B-b-but that’s not what I had in mind at all.”

The genie replies, “There are always unintended consequences in wishes and politics. Still, you are now the smartest, most popular person in the world and nobody disagrees with you.”

“Well then, I’ve changed my mind…”

Poof! The politician disappeared.

The moral of the story: Man who disagrees with self gets nowhere.

Filed 10/6/23

Weary the Cynical Dog

The Unbearable Hubris of Being Awoke

weary-dog35

Filed in Weary the Cynical Dog 10/4/23

hover-two

Are Playing Cards Based on the Calendar or Something?

spot-smith10 spot-smith10

Filed in Spot and Smith 10/2/23

Gag Cartoonery

office-frog

“Miss Porter, I’ll see the princess now.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 9/29/23

Sibilation Syllabus or Say It, Don’t Spray It Word Quiz

cycloidBG
robot-2 robot-3 robot-1 robot-eyes
ogre1 ogre2
rock

By gosh it’s the grand return of the word quiz. And by golly the return of Webio-Bot. Or maybe Webio-Bot Junior. OK, its really just some would-be jokes in word quiz form. And more! ’Cause it’s interactive, you get to click things. Woohoo!

Click on text to select or change your answer. Double-click to unselect.

sinecure

  1. headache remedy
  2. dotted line for signatures
  3. nose hair grooming
  4. Vice President of the Unites States

cynosure

  1. end bulb of a nose
  2. baby android
  3. celebrity du jour
  4. second poison dose administered just to make certain (booster shot)

syncope

  1. putting up with awful neighbors
  2. li’l word
  3. some kind of poem or something
  4. we got rhythm

cycloid

  1. computer animation loop
  2. wheeled robot
  3. one-eyed ogre
  4. circle-ish

scintilla

  1. wee bit
  2. doohickey hanging down on a French C
  3. dud fireworks
  4. the tingle from a spine tingler

Click for answers

(d) sinecure (sī′ nə kyŏŏr) a paid position requiring no work (you know, civil service job or diversity hire)

(c) cynosure (sī′ nə shŏŏr) Something that is a focal point of attention and admiration

(b) syncope (sĭn′ kə-pē) shortening of a word by omission of a middle part; i.e., bos’n for boatswain

(d) cycloid (sī′ klōĭd) resembling a circle

(a) scintilla (sĭn tĭl′-ə) minute amount, iota

Scoring
Doesn’t matter. You’re a winner just for reading terrycolon.com

Click to close

Filed in What’s That Supposed to mean? 10/2/23

Gag Cartoonery

barge-in

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 9/25/23

real-science

Kurmudgeon Kat

Just Say Yes

kat-35

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 9/22/23

hand-and

Talking Heads

W-r-o-n-g Joke

talk-heads34 talk-heads34

Filed in Talking Heads 9/20/23

jeopardy-lil-guy

Dad Jokes for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-11 jeopardy-11 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 9/18/23

Gag Cartoonery

“Please, give me sign.”

givemesign

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 9/15/23

hover-two

Thinking off the Rock

Noah Kidding

thinker34 thinker34a
thinker34b
think-hair

Filed in Thinking off the Rock 9/13/23

hoverhand

Talking Heads

No There There

talk-heads33 talk-heads33

Filed in Talking Heads 9/11/23

Gag Cartoonery

god-palmist

“Funny. I don’t see you in religion. I see you…
in entertainment. I see you… juggling.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 9/1/23

At Least He’s Not Over-Thinking It

joe-45
joe-45bubble joe-45bubble joe-45bubble joe-45bubble
joe-45

Hover to open book

Filed in The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair 9/5/23

Gag Cartoonery

cut-jib

“I was hoping you could improve the cut of my jib.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 9/1/23

Gag Cartoonery

dubious-lucrative

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 8/28/23

Power Outage

(Or a Short Bit Explaining Why There Was No New Content Yesterday)

spot-smith9

Filed in Spot and Smith 8/26/23

Gag Cartoonery

think-tank

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 8/23/23

jeopardy-8b

Groaners for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-10 jeopardy-10 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 8/21/23

Gag Cartoonery

knitting

“Is there something you need to tell me?”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 8/18/23

andhand

Brain Tweezers (Mit Dr. Sigmund Fraud)

Down Memory Lame

fraud10 fraud10

Filed 8/16/23

Gag Cartoonery

sharks

“But why, Harvey? We’ve gone unchanged for millions of years.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 8/14/23

Gag Cartoonery

dungeon

“Been here long?”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 8/11/23

Gag Cartoonery

simon-says

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 8/9/23

Cleared That Up

joe-44 joe-44spiral joe-44spiral joe-44fog joe-44

Hover to open book

Filed in The Little Read Book of Uncle Joe Squarehair 8/7/23

Gag Cartoonery

phrenology

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 8/4/23

plushand
real-science

Kurmudgeon Kat

Y or Y Not, That is the Question

kat-34 kat-34

Filed in Kurmudgeon Kat 8/2/23

Gag Cartoonery

pirate-nudist

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 7/28/23

hohoho

Groaners for 200 Dollars, Alex

jeopardy-9 jeopardy-9 jeopardy-1mask

Hover for question punchline

Filed 7/26/23

Gag Cartoonery

voted4her

“Hey. I voted for her.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 7/24/23

From out of the Memory Hole

DB32

A pop culture gag dredged up from thirty or so years ago. I guess you have to be at least fifty to get the reference. Well, it was funny back then. Perhaps. Chalk it up to Boomer-Humor.

Filed in A Dog’s Breakfast archives 7/21/23

Gag Cartoonery

grandma-auto

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 7/19/23

hover-two

Thinking off the Rock

Who’s on First

think-base2 thinker33b
thinker33a
think-hair

Filed in Thinking off the Rock 7/14/23

hoverhand

Talking Heads

Or so They Say

talk-heads32 talk-heads32

Filed in Talking Heads 7/12/23

Gag Cartoonery

superman

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 7/10/23

Gag Cartoonery

warm-fuzzy

“You don’t have chronic heartburn. You have an
overactive warm fuzzy.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 7/7/23

Celebrate the Fourth

Well, Depending on Your Point of View

fourth2 burst1 burst2 burst4 burst3 fourth1 fourth3 fourth4

And the point of view from under the bed: frightening!

Refiled from last year at this time

hover-two

2023 Part Two Begins

spot-smith8 spot-smith8

Filed in Spot and Smith 7/3/23

NEWER OLDER